Hold on to Joy
by valsolo
Summary: RECENTLY UPDATED! This story picks up right from the ending of the original TV series with Christy poised in the schoolyard between David and Neil. Which path will she choose?
1. Default Chapter

Fanfic title: Hold On to Joy  
  
Summary: As a huge fan of the book 'Christy' by Catherine Marshall and the original TV series, I had the urge to write this fic some years back. The story picks up right from the conclusion of the final Christy episode--"The Road Home"--with Christy poised between David and Neil in the schoolyard.  
  
Disclaimer: Of course, no infringement is intended on Ms. Marshall's work or the creators of the TV series. This is just an ode to their wonderful work! ;)  
  
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Part 1--  
  
Christy stood between David and Neil, her heart pounding wildly. She could feel both of their intense gazes upon her. She glanced down once again at the ring in the blue velvet box, which David had given her only seconds before. It seemed more like hours ago!  
  
*What should I do?* she kept asking her heart. She had to do something to get away from this tension or she knew she might surely faint.  
  
So, as David and Neil and the children in the schoolhouse watched her intently, Christy, without saying a word, began walking to the mission house. It was her only way out of this awkwardness. All eyes followed her until she entered the mission door. Then David realized what an unfair time and place he had picked. He quickly turned to the schoolhouse.  
  
"Go on back inside, children. We still have lessons to do." The children obeyed, but many hushed whispers could be heard as the children kept glancing back at David and Neil.  
  
"Did you see that purdy ring the preacher gave teacher?"  
"Do you reckon they'll be gettin' married?"  
"Why was the doc sittin' thar on his horse just-a watchin'?"  
  
David turned back to see Neil looking longingly at the mission house. Thinking of a million things he'd like to say to the good doctor, he decided against it. At last, Neil glanced at David. Their eyes met and locked for several seconds. Although no words were being spoken, each knew what the other was thinking. Neil finally pulled his horse around and rode away as quietly as he had come. David turned and climbed the school steps.  
  
"Now, where were we? Creed, I believe it was your turn to quote today's memory verse."  
  
Part 2--  
  
As Neil rode back to his cabin, his mind swam with all the thoughts running through it. What had he expected Christy to do?-- run to him so he could have whisked her away and lived happily ever after? He knew she would never have done that. Not while Margaret was still around. Christy was an honorable young woman. She would never betray her beliefs, and Neil knew that he could never ask her to. He respected her too much.  
  
As he neared the cabin, his thoughts of Christy were suddenly replaced with the reality that Margaret would be there when he returned. He was still in shock that she had come back and wanted to stay. Here he had finally gotten used to living without her, even though he knew he was still bound to her by marriage. He knew he could never again feel romantic love for her. That had died many years ago, and perhaps had never even existed. Now, she was back just as he had realized his newfound love for another.  
  
"So, did the honorable Miss Huddleston deny her faith and come running into your arms?... I don't see her with you so I'm guessing she didn't."  
  
Neil glared at Margaret as she sat there so smugly on the porch.  
  
"I told you she was going to marry the preacher, but you wouldn't listen to me. Do you really think she would give it all up for you, Neil? She loves her God too much to betray one of His commandments, even for you."  
  
Neil silently got off his horse and tethered it to the porch post. He knew Margaret was waiting for him to lose his temper, but he wasn't going to give her the satisfaction. He walked onto the porch, stopped to glare once again at this woman-- his wife-- and then calmly went inside. However, Margaret wasn't going to let him go that easily. She bounded into the cabin to find him hanging up his jacket.  
  
"She's so innocent and pure, isn't she, Mac? What every man wants, or says they want." He quickly shot her a heated gaze and then continued to put away the rest of his things. Margaret didn't stop.  
  
"She's not like me, is she, Neil? She seems to love this God-forsaken place and these miserable mountain people. Oops! I forgot...You are one of them, aren't you? But she'll get tired of it soon enough and be gone. Especially when she marries the preacher...like she should."  
  
Neil stopped what he was doing and turned to face Margaret. He opened his mouth but restrained his tongue from saying what was on his mind. Margaret laughed a mocking laugh.  
  
"Why, Mac, I'm impressed!" She sauntered up to him, standing very close, and looked him right in the eyes. "I know you want to fight back. You're wondering how I can be so cruel." Margaret grabbed hold of his shirt collar and yanked him to her. "It's because you are MY husband, Neil. You are the only man I've ever really loved... And I'm here because Christy gave me some advice that I decided to take."  
  
Neil looked a bit shaken at the mention of Christy's name.  
  
"Yes," Margaret smirked with an arrogant look of victory on her face. "She and I talked earlier today...alone. She came to me at the teahouse. That's when she told me she was going to marry the preacher. She also told me that you are worth fighting for. So that's what I'm doing, Neil." Margaret's prideful facade dropped and tears began to fill her eyes. "I want to come home... to you."  
  
Margaret pressed her lips to his, hoping for a response. However, Neil remained motionless. Defeated, she let go of his collar and backed down. He stared at her without a word. Her eyes dropped from his gaze as she realized that it had all been in vain. He would never let her back into his life, and the words she had spoken had only added to the distance between them. She turned and walked to the window. As she did, she could hear Neil's footsteps as he went to his room. Then she heard the lonely sound of his door shutting and of a lock being turned.  
  
PART 3--  
  
Christy sat on her bed staring at the blue box and the treasure it held. David... He was everything she SHOULD want. Why then couldn't she just say yes to his proposal? She already knew why... Neil was why.  
  
After her talk earlier that day with Fairlight, it had suddenly hit her like a ton of bricks-- she loved him. He was who she told her deepest thoughts to, her best friend. He made her blood boil, in more ways than one! Christy recalled how only days before she had stood by the stream, his arms encircled around her as they discussed the teahouse. Neil was the only one she could go to with her burdens about the men of the cove. He was the only one that truly understood her connection with this place because he felt it too. She smiled as she remembered the wreath of wildflowers he had placed so tenderly in her hair and the look in his eyes as he told her he had finally forgotten Margaret.  
  
Margaret... Christy's smile turned at once to tears as her mind flashed back to the scene from only hours before. Neil and Margaret had been locked in an embrace by that same stream. Well, she told herself, a man and wife should embrace, shouldn't they? She had been the one to tell Margaret that Neil was a man worth fighting for... Only she never imagined that Margaret would heed her advice!  
  
If Neil still loved Margaret, then why had he ridden after her? As he had sat on his horse in the middle of the schoolyard, watching David place the ring in her hand, she thought for sure he would say something to her. But then she had walked away. He was still such a mystery to her. There had been so many times when she felt just the slightest bit of "interest" in her emanating from him, or so she had thought.  
  
A smothering feeling began to envelope her. Christy's mind was swirling with all of her mixed emotions. She knew she needed to take a deep breath and do what she should have done as soon as she had walked into her room--- pray.  
  
"Dear Lord, I am overwhelmed right now and I need your comforting arms around me. I'm faced with a decision that will change my life forever, but I don't know what to do. I know that you've brought me here for a reason. I thought it was just for the children, but now there's David... and Neil. David has been such a blessing to my life, and I know that he loves me- in his way. He's wonderful, but I'm confused. My mind says "yes," but my *secret heart*, as Miss Alice calls it, is still not convinced. And, Lord, just today you revealed to me my love for Neil, but I know we can never be together as long as he is married. You couldn't possibly want me to even entertain the thought of him and me. Yet my heart feels bound to his. Heavenly Father, please help me to make the right decision. Amen."  
  
As Christy opened her eyes and took a deep breath, she felt a sudden peace that could only come from above. She picked up the ring box from her bed and took another look. The diamond sparkled and shined like nothing she had ever seen before. How long had it taken David to pay for such a thing? No, she would not let that change her mind. She closed the box and walked out of her room knowing what she must do.  
  
PART 4--  
  
"All right, children. Class is dismissed. Go home."  
  
David could hardly believe that he had made it through the rest of the afternoon! His mind had been with a certain blue-eyed beauty and not on the lessons, but finally the children and their whispers were gone. He was eager to find Christy and talk. Hopefully, she would say what he wanted to hear- an acceptance of his proposal. It wasn't his first, but he knew it would be his last.  
  
As he gathered his things together, he recalled the scene earlier in the schoolyard. Christy standing there between himself and Dr. MacNeill, looking so desperate to be anywhere else. David now wished that he hadn't brought out the ring at that particular moment. It wasn't fair to Christy, but his passion for her always got the better of him. He was actually glad she had walked away without saying a word, but now he had to speak with her.  
  
"David." Without even having to look up he knew that voice. Christy was standing in the doorway of the school with that serious look on her face. *Not exactly the reaction I had hoped for,* David thought to himself. She came further into the room and stopped across the desk from him.  
  
"We need to talk, David."  
  
"I know, Christy. I want to apologize for putting you in such an unfair position in front of the children today. It wasn't at all fair to you, I know, but I just-"  
  
"No, David. Let me talk. You're right. It was a very awkward situation and I accept your apology." She paused for what seemed like hours and then, "However, I cannot accept your proposal."  
  
The look on his face was one of devastation and a bit of anger. He opened his mouth to reply, but Christy was quick to stop him.  
  
"Please, just let me finish. You are a wonderful man, David, and I do love you. Only not in the way you might hope. I admit that I am partly to blame for letting this go on as long as it has. I just kept thinking that if you felt so strongly about us that maybe eventually I would too. I've prayed about it many times. Today should never have happened like it did. I should have told you how I felt a long time ago. David, you deserve someone who will love you the way you want to be loved, and I'm sorry but that someone just isn't meant to be me."  
  
Christy stood watching anxiously wondering what his response would be. He remained silent for several seconds, took a deep breath and strode towards her. She stayed firmly planted as he approached and looked deeply into her eyes. She could feel the warmth of his strong body against hers.  
  
"I know," he whispered softly. Christy blinked in confusion. "I guess I've always known. I kept hoping that time would change your mind and your heart, but it hasn't. You're tied to this place, Christy, and to these people. I see now that I could never take the place of the passion you feel for them... and for a certain doctor."  
  
Christy quickly glanced down as she felt her cheeks turning red.  
  
"It's no secret the way you both feel about each other. You both try to deny it, but everyone knows. I told him he should let you go. He's not right for you, Christy. When you barreled up into the schoolyard today with that look on your face, I thought perhaps he had taken my advice. But then he rode up with that same look, and I knew. I'm sorry I tried to take advantage of your confusion today, Christy, but you fill me with all these feelings that seem to just take over."  
  
David grasped her shoulders firmly and leaned in close to her face.  
  
"I love you, Christy, but I don't want to see you throw your life away on a married man who doesn't even have a belief in God." His voice was becoming louder and his grip began to become uncomfortable.  
  
"Neil MacNeill goes against everything you stand for and I don't want to see you get hurt. Can't you understand that?!" David's eyes were blazing with his deep emotion.  
  
"David, you're hurting me! Let go!" Suddenly realizing his tightening grip on her shoulders, he dropped his hands and turned away.  
  
"You don't have to worry about me, David. I know that Dr. MacNeill is a married man and that he doesn't have much of a faith. But I am a grown woman, and I know what I stand for. I would never do anything to dishonor God or this mission. And that is why I can't marry you. I don't love you like you want me to, David. I'm sorry, and I hope someday that you'll understand."  
  
With nothing more to say, Christy turned and began to leave. David remained standing with his back facing the door until her footsteps were faint. When he was sure she was far enough away, he turned and watched her walk the rest of the way to the mission house.  
  
*So this is it, Lord,* he thought to himself. *After all this time, this is it.*  
  
PART 5--  
  
After speaking with David, Christy returned to her room, careful to avoid any contact with Ruby Mae. With Miss Alice gone to Cataleechie, Ruby Mae was the only other soul left at the mission, and Christy just didn't care to answer one hundred and one questions at this time.  
  
As she closed the door, she stood motionless as a deep heartfelt sigh escaped her. Deciding that keeping her mind occupied would be for the best, she sat down at her desk and began work on the next day's lesson plans. She easily completed the morning's preparations and turned the page to complete the afternoon agenda when there, written in her own script from weeks before were the words "CHEMISTRY PRESENTATION--DR. MACNEILL." Her heart seemed to stop and her pencil dropped from her fingers. Neil had agreed to come to school before the events of the past few days had come to pass. Would he remember that he had volunteered? If he did, would he still come? It would definitely be awkward after this afternoon. What had he wanted to say in the schoolyard? Was Margaret still at his cabin? Were they truly back together?  
  
The questions began to once again overwhelm her, so she shut her plan book and crossed the room to her bed. If he was going to be there, she had to get some sleep. It would more than likely be another emotionally draining day. She got undressed and crawled into her bed. If only she could stay here forever, she thought, and never have to face another day... but she knew that that was not a choice. Once again she turned to God's comforting arms for some peace of mind and then somehow drifted off to sleep. ***********************************************************************  
  
Neil was once again awakened by the sound of a horrible, deep cough coming from downstairs. Not that he was even truly sleeping-unless staring at the ceiling with a million thoughts all jumbled in his mind was a new definition for slumber. He had been in his room since his encounter with Margaret earlier that evening. He hadn't dared leave the safety of this place without risking an all out tirade with her.  
  
Fortunately, the longer he had paced and fumed behind the closed doors, the calmer he had become. His anger had subsided, and now taking its place as he listened to the coughing, was something more akin to pity. Neil's doctoring instincts took over and he decided to dress and check on her. By listening to her, he knew she was not in a condition to do much of anything to help herself. He ashamedly realized that he hadn't even built a fire downstairs.  
  
He crept to the top of the stairs to see if she was now resting. Deciding it was safe to go down, he descended the steps and quietly began building a fire. Unbeknownst to Neil, Margaret was watching his every move from her place on the cot. She gazed blissfully at his strong neck and broad shoulders as he added logs to the fire. Then as he stoked the flames, her eyes were drawn to his muscular arms and his large masculine hands... arms that had once embraced her... and hands that had once tenderly caressed her as a husband. This is what she had given up and for what? The memories began to lodge in her throat and again the cough took over.  
  
Neil turned and rushed to her side with a rag to cover her mouth. Violently, her body shook until it could no longer muster enough strength to even produce one more cough. As she took the rag away, Neil noticed blood staining the once white cloth.  
  
"Your TB-- it's worse, isn't it?" he asked with sincerity.  
  
She choked at the concern in his rugged face and tears began to trickle down her cheeks "Yes," she replied weakly. "It is worse. The worst it's ever been. But then what do you care?!" Suddenly, her defenses were back in place, and she turned her eyes away from him.  
  
"Don't, Margaret. I don't want to fight anymore, and you don't have the strength to keep up this charade. I want to know how you really are. I am a doctor, you know. I can help you--- if you'll let me."  
  
Somehow Neil had changed. He wasn't the same bitter man from even a few months before when she had first returned to the cove and revealed that she was alive. She was prepared to handle his temper, but this new softer Neil... she didn't quite know how to take him. She turned back to find him still looking at her with such care, and could take it no longer. She began to cry fully and deeply as through her tears she tried to speak.  
  
"I don't think I have much longer, Neil. All of the treatments were just a waste of time. Those city doctors just took me for all I had. Then I was broke. The company I kept didn't help me, either. I kept hoping I would run into some big bunch of luck, but I only kept getting worse and worse. The money you sent me a month or so ago was just wasted on drinking and gambling."  
  
Neil's eyes dropped from her gaze in disappointment. "I'm sorry I wasted your money, Neil...and I'm sorry I've wasted your life." With that sentence his eyes shot up and he began to respond.  
  
"No, Mac. Let me talk. I've been such a fool. I've ruined both of our lives because of my selfishness. Mother was right about me-- I am spoiled. I kept nursing my bitterness and resentment toward the both of you until it consumed me. Now, I just can't run anymore, Neil, and I don't want to.  
  
"I know that you could never care for me as you once did, and quite honestly, I don't blame you. I know not to ever expect that from you. But please, Neil, don't turn me away again." She looked imploringly into his eyes. "Please just let me stay here until... until I'm gone."  
  
This was one of the only times in years that Margaret had ever let her defenses down Neil knew from her words that she truly was at her end. He remained silent for a few moments as he pondered what to say. Even through all of the misery she had put him through, she was still his wife, and he couldn't turn her away. But then what of his feelings for Christy? He wanted nothing more than to tell her of his love for her and make her his own... but now, it would be impossible. Maybe David Grantland was right. Maybe Neil should let her go.  
  
Margaret was still eagerly waiting for Neil's response. She did not know where she would go if he turned her away. She was so tired of running.........  
  
"Okay. You can stay--- as long as you need to." With that he turned and walked back up to his room to try and get some real sleep. 


	2. Part Two

~*~ Hold on to Joy: A Christy fic ~*~  
  
Part 6  
  
Christy had risen from bed before her alarm had even rung. For some reason, she felt very anxious to get the day underway. She took great care in choosing a dress to wear and took extra time on her hair. Looking just right today was important to her-- in case Neil did show up at school. Finally satisfied with he appearance, she ventured downstairs to breakfast... and Ruby Mae.  
  
"Mornin', Miss Christy. Lordy, but you look extry-special purdy today!," Ruby Mae declared with a huge grin on her face. Christy could tell that ruby Mae assumed she had accepted David's proposal since the curious girl was straining her neck to catch a glimpse of Christy's left hand.  
  
"Good morning, Ruby Mae. Is Reverend Grantland about?" She inwardly hoped that he was gone, knowing that the hurt of her refusal was still fresh in his mind. However, with Christy's question, the grin on Ruby Mae's freckled face managed to grow even larger.  
  
"No, ma'am. He's done been to breakfast and is off somewhere. All I seen was his dirty dishes. Maybe you could find him, teacher." The insinuation in the girl's response could not be missed. Christy knew she'd have to tell Ruby Mae the truth sooner or later, but now just didn't seem right. Suddenly, she was no longer hungry and decided to walk over to the school a bit early.  
  
As she strolled thoughtfully to the school, Christy 's heart felt heavy. She longed to talk to someone about all of the emotions raging inside her.  
  
"I can't talk to David, of course. And Miss Alice... well, she's never truly approved of my relationship with Neil... and now with Margaret back in the cove... I can't even talk to Neil-"  
  
"Christy?" The familiar voice of a friend jolted Christy out of her thoughts. She turned quickly to see Fairlight Spencer looking at her with a mix of amusement and concern.  
  
"Fairlight, you startled me!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Christy. I didn't mean to. Did you know you was talkin' out loud just now?" A friendly grin shone on Fairlight's face. A look of embarrassment came to Christy's.  
  
"No, I didn't." The young teacher lowered her red face and continued walking toward the school, Fairlight at her side.  
  
"Seems to me you got a lot on your mind today," Fairlight said.  
  
"You have no idea, Fairlight."  
  
"Oh, but I think I do. My younguns couldn't wait to tell Jeb and me all about the preacher givin' you that big ring-- and about Neil MacNeill watchin' the whole scene from atop his horse." The understanding and compassion in Christy's eyes told her that this was what she had been praying for--someone to share her burdens with. Happy to unload, Christy told her friend all about what had taken place after they had parted company the previous afternoon. She recalled how she had gone to Neil's only to find him locked in an embrace with Margaret--how David had given her the ring right in front of Neil and the children-- how she had just walked away-- and later how she had refused David's proposal. By the time she was finished, tears were flowing from her troubled blue eyes. Fairlight gave Christy a comforting hug, much like a mother caring for her child.  
  
"There, there now, Christy. I know that things look pert near impossible to handle right now, but I'll tell you one thing. The Almighty put that there love for the Doc in your heart for a reason. Now, I can't say as I know how it's gonna all work out, but I just keep thinkin' of that verse in the Bible. You remember-- the one about trustin' the Lord with all your heart and how if'n you acknowledge Him then He'll give you the desires of your heart." Christy nodded in recognition. "Well, that's just what you're gonna have to do. Trust in the Lord, Christy."  
  
Fairlight's word soothed Christy's troubled spirit almost instantly. When she had first come to the cove, she thought she would be the one doing all the teaching. Surprisingly, Christy was the one who never stopped learning from the wisdom of these people, Fairlight especially.  
  
With one last reassuring smile, Fairlight was off and Christy was left to herself.  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
Preparing for her students, Christy still could not get rid of a gnawing feeling of nervousness. Part of her hope Neil would forget his agreement to teach this afternoon, while secretly she knew she would be very disappointed if he didn't show.  
  
The sounds of children's voices began to drift inside the building from the yard outside. Ruby Mae and Lizette Holcombe were the first to come in. Their hushed whispers, giggles, and smiling eyes told Christy exactly what was on their minds. As more children entered, the young teacher thought the day would be endless. However, the morning's lessons went by more quickly than Christy had expected. She hadn't even thought about Neil once she began teaching, but when lunchtime rolled around, the anxious feeling had returned. With her lunch in her hands, she went out onto the front steps and began to eat. In no time at all, she was surrounded by curious students.  
  
"Miz Christy," Creed Allen began. "How come we don't see that thar ring the preacher give ya on yer finger? If'n you're gettin' married, don't ya have to wear it?"  
  
Leave it to Creed to ask what was on everyone's minds! As Christy scanned the crowd, she realized they were all anxiously waiting for her reply.  
  
"Well, Creed, marriage is a big commitment that shouldn't be taken lightly. Both people need to make sure that the marriage is what God wants for each of their lives." Christy could tell that it wasn't exactly what the children had wanted to hear.  
  
"Don't you love the preacher, Miss Christy?," Little Burl asked sincerely. She knew the little boy held a special place in his heart for David. She chose her words carefully.  
  
"Of course I care about Reverend Grantland very much. He's a wonderful man and I-" Christy's words were cut off by a very exuberant Ruby Mae.  
  
"I knew it! Teacher's a-gettin' maried! Lordy be, Miss Christy! Can I help with the weddin?" The redhead's excitement spread to the other girls and they ran off to begin planning the event. Shortly thereafter, the boys wandered back to their games. Christy sat in amazement for a moment before rising to go back inside. As she reached the door, she was jolted by the sound of a very masculine and very Scottish voice.  
  
"Good afternoon, Miss Huddleston." It was Neil! Her heart jumped when she turned and looked upon his handsome face, yet tired, face and tousled hair.  
  
"Dr. MacNeill," she said, trying to remain calm although her insides were all a-flutter. "I didn't expect you to be here today. I figured you would probably forget."  
  
"Forget about you?" he replied with that rogue-ish grin. "I could never forget about you, Christy?"  
  
She felt herself blush immediately. He always seemed to have that effect on her. He loved to catch her off guard. Christy had to reprimand herself for getting so excited at his presence. Just yesterday she had seen him with his wife. She must remember that he was married and not to read anything into his words. Besides, Neil had never completely expressed any romantic interest in her, and now it would be unacceptable for him to ever do so.  
  
He climbed the steps as Christy stayed rooted by the door. His grin disappeared and a serious, almost pained look replaced it.  
  
"I suppose my congratulations are in order, Miss Huddleston. From all the chatter going on in the schoolyard, it sounds as if a wedding is underway." The sadness in his blue eyes was almost more than she could handle. She had to snap herself out of it or she might say or do more than she should.  
  
"Don't believe everything you hear, Doctor." Her eyes began to water with the longing she felt to comfort this man. Neil could also sense her need to be comforted and wanted nothing more than to take her petite form into his arms and never let her go. But his sense of honor would not allow it, so he forced a small smile and said," Well, shall I get started with the lesson?"  
  
"Of course," Christy said quickly moving to ring the bell. Neil went inside and Christy watched as he set up for his presentation. Even after many soft moments with this man, she was still uncertain of his feelings for her but no matter. There could be nothing between them. *******************************************************************  
  
The children were awed by Dr. MacNeill's presentation, as always. Christy was amazed at the way he held the students' attention throughout his whole lesson. Many times throughout the afternoon, his eyes had met Christy's and held them captive for brief moments. Each time left her breathless. His eyes had always been able to look deep into her soul and fill her with a warmth and peace.  
  
Christy's thoughts wandered to other times when Neil had taught her class. There was the time he had enthusiastically told the story of "Bonny Prince Charlie," which filled the children with such pride. Then there was the time he had demonstrated a volcano, and she could never forget when he donned his ridiculous Scottish kilt to teach the children highland games! At that thought, Christy laughed out loud. All other noise stopped and every eye fell on her, including the doctor's. Suddenly realizing her slip, she was once again red-faced in front of Neil.  
  
"And what may I ask is so funny, Miss Huddleston? I hope it's not my lesson. Is it something you'd care to share with the rest of the class?" His teasing tone had returned to put Christy at ease.  
  
"Well, actually, Doctor, I was thinking about you." Her response had now caught him off-guard, and Christy could swear that his face was turning shades of pink. A few giggles were heard from the children as eyes were looking at both adults and waiting for the next move.  
  
"Well then," Neil began,"I won't ask to give any more details seeing as it might incriminate me." There was that smile again. If he only knew what it did to her heart.  
  
After the students were dismissed for the day, Christy could tell Neil wanted to talk. He was standing by the door nervously shifting his weight from one foot to another. Little did she know that he was trying to calm his nerves at the thought of being alone with her. Yesterday, when he had returned to his cabin and found the phonograph playing and flowers on the table, he had been so sure that it was Christy. His heart had almost burst from the steps to his front door, but when the door opened it was Margaret... not Christy. He had never felt like such a child about anything or anyone before. He had always been so in control, but ever since Christy Huddleston had come to Cutter Gap, his life had been turned upside down.  
  
Christy walked over to the door and Neil, trying to stay a picture of calm. "I want to thank you for coming. As always, the children loved your visit...and so did I." The last words were out of her mouth before she realized what she had said. He blinked in amazement at her honesty. Quickly, she continued. "They learn so much from your presentations.... I have to admit, Doctor, I thought you might not come, what with all that has happened in the last day or so."  
  
He drank in her beautiful young face that was trying desperately to appear business-like. Thoughts of her with a wreath of flowers on her soft hair crossed his mind.  
  
"I honor my commitments, Miss Huddleston," he replied softly gazing into her eyes.  
  
What exactly did he mean by that? Christy's wondered. Was he talking about his lesson or his marriage to Margaret? She wanted to ask so many questions-- to tell him so many things.  
  
Suddenly, the realization of his situation dawned on Neil. Here he was standing with the woman he wanted with all of his body and soul, but he knew he couldn't have her. She would never give herself to him as long as he was a married man. He scolded himself inwardly for letting his feelings go this far-- for getting this close to Christy. His tenderness was instantly removed as he said,"I suppose we won't be seeing much of each other since you're engaged and Margaret is back." The look on her face was one of devastation. He hated to be so cold, but it was the only way he could distance himself from her.  
  
"So, Margaret's staying?"  
  
"Aye."  
  
"Well, I guess I should have known seeing as I saw you two at your cabin yesterday. You looked quite content. Maybe this time she's really changed, Neil. Maybe this time things will work out for you and Margaret. I'll keep you in my prayers. I hope you'll be happy together."  
  
Knowing she was near to tears, Christy turned abruptly and went back inside to her desk. Neil stood motionless, not knowing how he should respond or if he should. Did her sudden change of mood mean that she cared for him?  
  
"If you'll excuse me, Doctor, I have work to do." Christy didn't dare to look at him again, so she busied herself with moving papers around on her desk.  
  
That was that. He had been dismissed. Neil left without another word. Once he was out of sight, Christy let the tears flow as she realized she hadn't even told Neil she had turned down David's proposal.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Part 7  
  
The next two weeks passed without much excitement. Christy and David continued to avoid each other, and Neil had not been around sine his lesson. As another school day came to a close, the schoolyard was filled with barefoot children running and playing their mountain games. The older girls were off to themselves, giggling about weddings and husbands. Christy had still not told any of the children that she in fact was not marrying the preacher. She didn't want to wound his pride anymore than she already had.  
  
Just then Christy noticed a familiar figure walking beside a horse. It was Miss Alice back from Cataleechie. Many of the children rushed to her side, anxious to receive the latest news. When she reached the school steps, she stopped and offered a friendly smile to the young teacher.  
  
"Well, Miss Huddleston, it appears as though I have missed out on quite a lot while I've been absent. Please, won't thee fill me in?" Alice walked into the school and took a seat on the nearest bench. She looked eagerly at Christy, but the young woman did not speak.  
  
"I have found that when my heart is so troubled, the load can be lightened by a friend. What is the matter, Christy?"  
  
"Oh, Miss Alice," Christy began. It's been just awful! David proposed to me--AGAIN-- and I turned him down. I just don't think it's what God wants for my life. Ever since then, David has been avoiding me and sulking like a child. I guess I haven't made much of an effort to mend our relationship. I do want to still have him as a friend... I need that, but the way things look now, we may never speak again."  
  
Miss Alice pondered Christy's words for a few moments before responding. By her silence, Christy knew she was contemplating her words.  
  
"David Grantland still has some growing up to do, I'm afraid. Although it undoubtedly has hurt his male pride to be rejected, he will just have to learn to accept thy decision. I am confident that in time he will see the wisdom of your choice. He is a good man, Christy,just a little immature. Is that all that is on thy mind, Miss Huddleston? Your eyes seem to speak of more."  
  
How did Miss Alice always see more than Christy wanted to show? She couldn't tell Miss Alice that she was pining away for the woman's son-in- law, but Miss Alice did deserve to know about Margaret's return. Christy hesitated briefly and then finally spoke.  
  
"Miss Alice....Margaret is back......at Neil's." The comforting, calm look on the older woman's face changed instantly to one of shock. She rose from her seat and began to walk away before turning to say,  
  
"Thank you, Miss Huddleston." After her farewell she was gone.  
  
Christy was ashamed to be the one to tell her. She knew Miss Alice's struggle over Margaret was far from being over.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
The last weeks had been strangely calm at the MacNeill cabin. Margaret was still there. Neil had moved her into the bedroom and taken the downstairs cot for himself. Her cough was getting worse with each passing day, and there wasn't much else he could do besides make her as comfortable as possible. Without saying it out loud, both knew her end was near.  
  
Apart from checking on her periodically, Neil avoided any other time with her. Although she tried in her own way to win his attention, he would have none of her---only that of a doctor-patient relationship. The first night Margaret had returned, she was filled with hope by Neil's tender actions. However, since that next day he had grown distant and cold, and so had her hope.  
  
She had tried to gain his attention by slipping into his favorite dress of hers from years ago. She had found it while looking through some old stuff in the bedroom. The dress was lavender silk and had always taken his breath away, but when he entered the cabin and saw her standing there, his eyes filled with rage. Then his look of anger turned to disgust. All he had said was, "Take it off," in a calm yet firm voice. He stormed into his laboratory and locked the doors.  
  
So now here she was-- living with this man, her husband, who cared no more for her than any other patient--perhaps even less. She knew it was time to face facts. Neil and she would never be able to reconcile, and by staying here she was only making them both miserable.  
  
Neil had told no one that Margaret was back except Dan Scott and Christy. Christy...he tried not to think of her, but couldn't keep her from his thoughts. Every time he looked at Margaret, he began to think of Christy and how different these two women were. Even though Christy was some years younger than Margaret, her maturity far surpassed the elder, as did her tenderness and selflessness. He found himself wondering what it was he had ever seen in his wife. Then he remembered his own young arrogance and immaturity--- which in turn led him to thoughts of David Grantland. The young preacher had finally convinced Christy to marry him. Every time that crossed his mind he was filled with anger and, for some reason, a sense of betrayal. How could she?!  
  
After all the intimate talks and special moments he had shared with her... He could see those big blue eyes gazing into his...No longer could he deny the effect she had on him Life without her would be miserable. How could she marry that young upstart of a minister? Most likely she would be leaving Cutter Gap whenever the reverend so desired. Anger and frustration began to fill his soul, and Margaret could sense his inner turmoil.  
  
"You've been awfully quiet ever since you got back from that school the other day, Neil. Wanna share what's on your mind?" Margaret's words caught him off guard. He shot her a look of warning, but that only enticed her to more.  
  
"It's that little ol' school teacher,isn't it?," she asked already knowing the answer. "Why do you keep beating yourself up over her, Mac?" She replaced her sensitivity of that first night more common biting sarcasm. "You're not as young as you used to be. Look around....what do you have to offer her? She's used to tea parties and fancy dresses, and soon enough she'll realize her holier-than-thou ambitions for this cove are hopeless. Then you'll be left alone again, heartbroken." Margaret's cruel words were her attempt at gaining any reaction from Neil, and she could tell by the look on his face that it was beginning to work.  
  
"Such innocence...I wonder what she would think if she knew where it was that you met me? Then she might not think you were so honorable, Mac." The mention of how they had met stabbed at his conscience. Margaret noticed his every flinch and it only fueled her to action. "Yes, there are some things Miss Christy Huddleston needs to know about the great Doctor MacNeill and maybe I'll just have to be the one to fill her in."  
  
The devilish grin on her face was more than he could stand. He could stay silent not longer. He stormed over to Margaret, backing her up to the wall. His eyes were ablaze with anger and Margaret suddenly wished she hadn't gone so far.  
  
"You listen to me, Margaret... Christy Huddleston is TEN times the woman you can never hope to be! She has a heart of gold, not stone. She respects these people, this place, me, and herself-- something you certainly don't know anything about. She thinks of others before she ever thinks of herself, and if you ever speak ill of her again, I'll...I'll.." He stopped for only a second before changing the direction his speech was taking.  
  
"To this day I'm not sure why I ever married you and brought you here. I do know that I wasn't thinking with my head! I should've seen it coming, but I was blinded by foolish infatuation. And that's all it was, Margaret. It was never anything more-- and never will be!" With that, Neil was finished. Quickly gathering up his jacket, he headed out the door before Margaret even had time to recover from his tirade.  
  
Neil's speech sealed Margaret's decision. Christy's visit to the teahouse had given Margaret a last bit of hope for reconciliation with Neil. His staunch defense of the teacher had destroyed that last bit of hope and told her what she must do. After taking a deep breath, she marched upstairs and began gathering together what few things she owned.  
  
*********************************************************************** Part 8  
  
The days since Miss Alice's return had found her pensive and distant. Christy knew she was struggling with the fact that her daughter was back again and not making any effort to contact her mother. The teacher wanted so much to soothe Miss Alice's troubled spirit, but she wasn't sure how. Then one afternoon opportunity knocked. Alice found Christy in the parlor and hesitantly approached her.  
  
"Miss Huddleston, we need some supplies from Doctor MacNeill. If thee would be so kind as to ride Prince over to his cabin, I would truly appreciate it. With Margaret there, I don't think it would be wise for me to go. Our last meeting was somewhat a failure of Christian love and forgiveness. She would not be too pleased to see me, I am sure."  
  
The surprised look on Christy's face showed Miss Alice that her request may have been too much. Then the shock was replaced by one of understanding. Christy realized that Miss Alice was eager to know how Margaret was doing, but was not quite up to confronting her daughter again.  
  
"Sure, Miss Alice. I'll go," Christy conceded despite her own deep apprehension. A look of relief shone on Miss Alice's face. "Good,very good, Miss Huddleston. Here is the list, and Prince is already prepared to leave. You know he is faster than walking or riding old Theo."  
  
Christy smiled and shook her head in amazement. Miss Alice had been banking on a positive reply from her. She gathered her jacket and the list and took off out the door. ***********************************************************************  
  
Riding along the path to the MacNeill cabin, Christy began to feel that anxiousness once again. What would she find there? Neil and Margaret in wedded bliss? Her sinful nature wanted to find the two at odds, but she tried earnestly to overcome that sin through prayer.  
  
"Please, Lord. Forgive me for thinking such awful thoughts about Neil and Margaret. I know I should be praying for their marriage, but my own selfishness is taking over. I just ask that you give me the strength to accept Your will, even if it's not the same as mine." ***********************************************************************  
  
Margaret was in the bedroom gathering her things when she heard the knock on the door.  
  
"Dr. MacNeill? Dr. MacNeill, are you in there?" Christy noticed the door was cracked open, so she entered the cabin. Pleased to see no one home, she crossed to his medicine cabinet to gather the supplies. She would leave a note telling him what she had taken. Working quickly, her bag was full in no time, and she headed to the door.  
  
"Why, Miss Huddleston,are you stealing?" The sarcastic voice stopped Christy where she stood. She turned to see Margaret standing on the steps leading from Neil's bedroom. For some reason, the thought of Margaret in his room put a knot in her stomach. Gathering her wits, she finally responded to the accusation.  
  
"I'm sorry, Margaret. I didn't think anyone was here."  
  
"Well, you seem to be well acquainted with this cabin and where Mac keeps everything."  
  
Christy looked away, feeling somewhat ashamed. "Miss Alice sent me for some supplies. Dr. MacNeill hasn't been by the mission for a while, and we were beginning to run out of some things."  
  
Margaret chuckled as she sauntered down the stairs. "Mother sent you for supplies, eh? You mean she sent you to spy on me--to check and see if I was even still around--if Neil and I had made up and were living happily ever after."  
  
Christy could see the unhappiness on this woman's face and hear it in her voice. How could one so outwardly beautiful be so bitter inside? Margaret could see the questions in Christy's eyes and grinned the grin of a spider ready to pounce on a fly.  
  
"You've been so sheltered from the bad things in this world, haven't you, Miss Huddleston? You only see the good in people and turn away from the ugliness. Well, all I've seen is the ugly." She could tell Christy was taken aback by her words, so she kept talking. "Did Neil ever tell you how we met?" Oh yes...she would enjoy this! A smile spread across Margaret's face.  
  
"Neil was recently back from school in Scotland. The world outside Cutter Gap was still so new and exciting to him. He wanted to experience all it had to offer, and I was one of those things." Christy didn't seem to fully comprehend what Margaret was implying, but Margaret continued anyway.  
  
"He was staying with some friends in the city who just happened to be 'business associates' of mine. You see, I was working at a local dance hall--- imagine the El Pano teahouse on a much grander scale." Margaret noted a look of realization on the young teacher's face. "Finally, Pollyanna, you get the picture. Neil came one night to the hall and we hit it off, quite well as I recall." She could see that Christy was becoming unsettled by these words, and this only spurred her on.  
  
"We were both looking to get away from where we came from and soon we married. Not much thought went into it, really. It was purely a physical relationship."  
  
"Margaret, you don't need to explain anything to me," Christy interjected.  
  
"Then I'll cut to the chase. It was silly of me to come back. I should have just went on to Atlanta when I had the chance. There's no hope for me here, Christy. May I call you that?" Margaret was serious now.  
  
"I thought you and Neil were working it out. He told me you were staying." A mocking laugh escaped Margaret's lips.  
  
"I can't stay with a man whose heart is constantly longing for another. No, Neil would never turn me out seeing as I'm sick. But I can't live with his pity, so I'm doing him a favor by leaving--for good."  
  
The reality of those words stirred Christy to action. "No! You can't leave him again! What about your health?"  
  
"I'll do as I wish, thank you." With that, Margaret picked up her coat and started to put it on. Every move only added to Christy's raging emotions. Margaret's leaving would destroy Neil and Miss Alice all over again. Christy grabbed Margaret's arm and twirled her until they were face to face.  
  
"Now you listen to me! I have held my tongue whenever you've been around because I didn't feel it was my place to say anything. But I cannot stay silent any longer. You are the most selfish, bitter, despiteful person I have ever met! You blame all of your problems on everyone else except on the person who deserves the blame--- YOU!" Christy's grip tightened. Margaret could do nothing but listen.  
  
"You've made your own choices, Margaret. No one's forced you to do anything-- not Neil and not Miss Alice. I don't think I could ever forgive you for all you've done, but they both have. Yet you continue to hurt them. No, you don't deserve either of them, and by running away again, you only prove every word I just said." The two women held each other's gaze for a tense moment.  
  
"Don't leave, Margaret." Christy was breathing so hard after her speech, yet she did not take her eyes from Margaret's. Seconds passed like hours, until Christy finally dropped her hand from Margaret's arm and took a step back.  
  
"Are you finished, Miss Huddleston?" Margaret asked calmly. Christy nodded her head bracing for whatever came next. "Then I'm sure they're waiting for you back at the mission."  
  
Realizing Margaret would say no more, Christy picked up the supply bag and walked out the door. ***********************************************************************  
  
The meeting with Margaret left Christy shaken. She was chiding herself for losing control as Prince rounded a bend. There coming towards her was a very sullen Neil. Before he noticed her, she saw him pull out a small bottle and take a drink. The brooding look on his face told her he'd been drinking again. The last time he'd been drunk, David had obligingly given him a black eye. Finally, Neil spotted her, but his expression did not change. Christy brought Prince to a halt and climbed off to meet him as he neared.  
  
"Doctor MacNeill."  
  
"Miss Huddleston." His aloofness made Christy uncomfortable.  
  
"I just came from your place. I had to pick up some supplies for the mission. You were gone, so I hope you don't mind that I gathered them up myself. I saw Margaret. She seemed upset."  
  
He shot her a hateful glare. "Miss Huddleston, I'll thank you to mind your own business from now on." The offended look on her pretty face was just what he was hoping for. "Oh, did I hurt the fair maiden's feelings?" She couldn't believe he was speaking to her this way. He came closer until Christy could smell the moonshine on his breath.  
  
"But you'll not be a maiden for long now, will you? Now that you're going the marry the wonderful Reverend Grantland... And don't you think that you should start acting like a proper betrothed young lady and avoid any meetings with a married man?! What will everyone think of you, Christy?"  
  
The hurt exploded from Christy as a hard smack across Neil's face. He stood amazed, holding his cheek in his hand.  
  
"How dare you, Doctor!! How dare you speak to me that way! Maybe if you tended to your own 'business,' you wouldn't be here right now acting like a drunken fool!" Christy snorted and turned to mount Prince. Before climbing on, she swung to face him once more with fire in her eyes.  
  
"I would have thought after the black eye David gave you last month, Doctor, that you'd have learned your lesson about drinking moonshine. But then again, maybe you're not as smart as I thought you were."  
  
And with that last retort, she quickly mounted her ride and hurried off toward the mission, leaving a much sobered Neil in her dust. 


	3. Part Three

~*~ Hold on to Joy: A Christy fic ~*~  
  
Part 9  
  
In the cool of the next morning, Jeb Spencer, Bob Allen and their boys John and Rob were out hunting. As they made their way across the bottom of a ravine, Rob Allen noticed something several yards ahead. Curious, he began walking towards it, then suddenly took off at a full run.  
  
"Pa! Come quick!" he shouted. The other men sped to Rob's side and stopped dead in their tracks.  
  
"Lordy! It's the Doc!," John exclaimed. Jeb quickly took control of the situation.  
  
"Rob, you run get Dan Scott and tell him to get to the mission. John, you run fetch my horse." The boys took off at lightning speed. "Here, Bob, help me roll him onto his back." The two men carefully moved the doctor only to find that he was bleeding from two large wounds-- one on his head and the other on his shoulder. Bob felt Neil's wrist carefully for a sign of life.  
  
"Well, at least he's still got a heart beat," Bob commented weakly.  
  
"Doc, can ya hear me?" Jeb asked. He waited for a reply but got none.  
  
John returned with a horse in what seemed like only seconds. The three carefully loaded Neil onto the horse and began their journey to the mission.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Being Saturday, Christy did not have to be at school. She decided instead to work on laundry and other jobs around the mission in order to keep her mind occupied. Hanging up a freshly washed load of sheets, her mind wandered to yesterday and her meetings with Margaret and Neil. Their words had wounded her. Margaret's revelation of how the two had met put a hurt so deep into Christy's being. The woman had wanted to shock her, and had succeeded. Now a whole new light was being shed on Neil MacNeill. His actions and words from yesterday had wounded her worst of all. She began to doubt her own heart. Could she truly love a man like him? One that had met a woman in a seamy dance hall and only been interested in the...physical? The thought of Neil with Margaret made her stomach turn  
  
Suddenly, the sheet she was hanging was ripped out of her hands, and she jumped back in surprise. An out of breath Rob Allen was standing before her, a look of horror on his face.  
  
"Miss Christy.... you got to get Miss Alice and come inside quick!"  
  
"Rob, what is it?" Christy implored.  
  
Just then, Dan Scott raced up to the mission steps, stopping only long enough to yell, "Christy, I'm gonna need your help. Quickly!"  
  
She knew something was amiss, but no one would stop to say what. As she started up the stairs, she spotted Jeb, Bob, and John running towards the mission with a horse beside them. Desperate looks were on each of their faces. Then Christy saw him---It was Neil hanging lifelessly over the saddle.  
  
She ran to them screaming, "Neil?! What happened?! What's happened to him?!" His body was limp as the men pulled him off the horse and carried him inside. At the sight of his bloody wounds, Christy thought she might faint.  
  
"Miss Huddleston, we will have need of thy services inside, please." It was Miss Alice pulling Christy back to the urgency of the moment. Taking a deep breath, she ran quickly into the mission. Neil had been placed on a table and Dan was carefully examining the doctor's wounds. As far as Christy could tell, he had a gash on his head and one on his left shoulder right above his breastbone. It was so strange to see Neil lying on an operating table. He was always the one healing everyone else. She closed her eyes to whisper a fervent prayer to the Great Physician.  
  
"Lordy, lordy! It's Doc and he's dead!!" Ruby Mae had entered the room with David. Her words shook Christy to her very core.  
  
"David, would thee please see to Ruby Mae while we work on Dr. MacNeill?," Miss Alice directed. David nodded and led the girl out of the room.  
  
As the hours passed, Dan and Miss Alice had been hard at work on Neil. Christy had watched the whole process closely for any sign of his returning consciousness, but there had been none. True, he did still have a pulse. It seemed Neil was in what he had told Christy was a coma.  
  
When Dan had done all he could, he turned to Christy. "I've done everything I can for now. It may take several days for him to come out of this. He'll need to have his bandages changed frequently, and he'll need to be watched closely."  
  
"I'll do it," Christy said with no hesitation.  
  
"I thought you might say that," Dan replied with a smile. "I need to ride over to Neil's cabin and pick up a few more medical supplies, and then I'll be back."  
  
"Would thee please tell Margaret what has happened? She may want to come here." Miss Alice's words stung Christy, and the girl shot her a look of angry confusion. Christy turned and walked to Neil's bedside. She knew Margaret would not come, but even if she did, Christy would not give up her post by Neil's side.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Four days had come and gone. Neil was still unconscious, and Christy was still by his bedside. David had willingly taken over classes. It seemed his attitude towards her was beginning to soften. Dan had been back every day to check on Neil and had also taken over the care of all the cove's patients along with Miss Alice. Just as Christy had expected, Margaret had not come back with Dan. In fact, she was nowhere to be found. David had helped to search for her in order to ease Alice's mind, but the sick wife of Dr. MacNeill had once again disappeared. No one seemed to be surprised by this turn of events, but Christy knew that it broke Miss Alice's heart just the same.  
  
Christy had been a devoted nurse. She kept Neil's bandages changed and never left his side unless someone else was there in her place. David watched from a distance as Christy's obvious love for Neil was played out. He had hardly spoken to Christy since her refusal to marry him. He had been sulking and brooding like a child, praying that she would love him. That's what HE wanted. It had taken him several weeks and many prayers and Bible verses later to understand that what he wanted and what God wanted were two different things. Watching Christy care so selflessly for Neil filled him with shame. He needed desperately to ask her forgiveness and have her in his life again. He entered the room quietly and pulled a chair over next to hers. Her tired eyes looked tenderly upon him with compassion.  
  
"Christy, I need to speak with you."  
  
"Of course, David. We haven't spoken in so long."  
  
"That's my fault. Christy, I need to apologize for the way I've been acting since that night in the school." This was going to be a humbling experience, he could tell, but it was something he had to do. Christy was listening intently as he swallowed hard and began.  
  
"After many prayers and Bible readings, I've come to realize what a fool I've been. I got angry like a spoiled brat who didn't get his way. I see now that I wasn't seeking God's will, but my own. I know that you were right in refusing me. We aren't meant to have that kind of relationship, as much as I hate to admit it. So, Christy, I'm asking you to please forgive me...and, if you can find it in your heart, to let me be your friend again. I need that."  
  
The sincere honesty of David's confession touched her to tears. Without saying a word, Christy offered her forgiveness by reaching over to hug David. He in turn wrapped his long arms around her. The relief for both of them was shining on their faces.  
  
Slowly opening his eyelids, Neil saw first only shadows. In a few seconds, he was able to focus clearly, his first sight being Christy in the arms of the Reverend Grantland. As he looked away, a sharp pain shot through his head, and he groaned loudly. The sound startled the two embracing friends and the tender moment was broken.  
  
"Neil?!," Christy asked as she jumped from her chair. He slowly turned to face her with one eye open and one closed.  
  
"You're awake!! MISS ALICE!!! DAN!!!! COME QUICK!!!"  
  
Wincing, Neil replied, "Do you have to be so loud, woman?!"  
  
Christy laughed with joy and reached over to check his head. Dan and Miss Alice ran into the room, elated to find Neil awake.  
  
"Where am I? What am I doing here," Neil asked with a confused look on his unshaven face.  
  
"You're at the mission," Dan started. "Jeb Spencer, Bob Allen and their boys found you while they were out hunting. You've been in a coma for almost five days now. We were wondering when you were going to wake up."  
  
Neil tried to push himself up to a sitting position, but found his left arm was in a sling.  
  
"Neil, don't try to move. Thee has a broken arm, as well as a head wound and another wound on they left shoulder."  
  
The doctor was trying to make sense of it all. The four faces watched him silently for a few seconds, waiting to answer any other questions he might have. Finally, Alice broke the silence.  
  
"Would thee like something to eat? It has been quite a while since thy last meal." A simple nod of his head sent Christy off into the kitchen for a bowl of soup.  
  
"Miss Huddleston has taken excellent care of you these past days. Miss Alice or I couldn't have done better ourselves," Dan explained. The thought of Christy in David's arms flashed through Neil's mind. To change the subject, he asked about Margaret.  
  
"Where is she?" Dan, David, and Miss Alice looked at one another waiting to see who would venture an answer.  
  
"Doctor," David began, "some of the other men and I have searched the cove, but she was nowhere to be found. I'm sorry."  
  
The preacher's pity struck a nerve with Neil, but he kept his anger in check. He knew the young man was being sincere.  
  
"I should've stopped her. She's too sick to be traveling anywhere." Regret shone on Neil's face. No one knew quite what to say, and all were quite relieved when Christy returned with a tray of food.  
  
"Well, we need to let you eat, Doctor," Dan added. "So, I will say good- bye and be back to check on you tomorrow morning." With that, Dan, Miss Alice, and David exited the room leaving Christy with Neil.  
  
While she readied his meal, he observed her every move and detail. Her clothes were rumpled and her hair was falling down from its bun. She had circles under her eyes that spoke of little sleep, yet she was extremely careful in testing each bit of food making sure the temperature was just right. She turned to see him watching her, and he quickly looked away. A small smile came to her face.  
  
"Here. I'll help you eat." She picked up a spoonful of soup and held it near his mouth.  
  
"I am not a baby, Miss Huddleston. I don't need you to feed me."  
  
"Neil, you're sick. Your arm is broken--- I'm just trying to help." The caring look on her face melted his reserve. Neil opened his mouth and Christy emptied the soup inside.  
  
"See, that wasn't so bad, now was it?" He noticed a slight grin on her face as she continued to feed him. He felt somewhat ridiculous, but deep down he was enjoying her efforts.  
  
When they finished, he could see she had many questions for him. Never before had she been hesitant to ask him anything, but this time seemed different.  
  
"What's on your mind, Christy?" She seemed surprised at his question, but then he did always seem to know when something was bothering her.  
  
"Do you remember anything that happened?-- how you got hurt?"  
  
"I think I do. I know I'd been drinking, as you already know." As he began, Christy started to change the bandage on his head. "I remember arguing with Margaret and then leaving the cabin. Later, I met you on the path-- where I could never forget being smacked on the face." The last line was said with a hint of amusement in his voice. A blush came to Christy's face.  
  
"I was hoping you'd forget that part. I'm sorry."  
  
"No, don't be. I deserved it. I never should've talked to you like that, Christy." Their eyes met and locked for a moment. Sure her every emotion was displayed on her face, she looked away and changed the subject.  
  
"I've finished with your head bandage. I'm going to help you sit up so I can change the one on your shoulder." As she assisted this action, the quilt, which had been covering him, fell away from his chest. The last time she had seen him like this was the day she made dinner in hopes of persuading him to accept Dan Scott. She had peeked at him bathing in the stream and burnt dinner in the process. However, now....... he was so close to her. Her heart began to race as her fingers touched his strong, muscular back to remove the old bandage. Snapping herself out of her daze, she continued asking questions.  
  
"Is that all you remember?"  
  
"No. After I saw you, I went back home to find Margaret and her bags gone-- along with some money I had hidden away. I went out after her. I had to find her."  
  
Christy stopped what she was doing. "Because you love her?" Neil turned to face her and took her soft hand in his.  
  
"I don't love her in the way a husband should love a wife. But she's a very sick woman. For her own good I needed to find her. I am in the business of saving lives, Christy, no matter whose they are. No... Margaret and I are finished for good."  
  
Christy felt a strange sense of relief at Neil's words and scolded herself for it. She pulled her hand free of his and stood up from the bed. "Well... you're all set now. Why don't you try to get some rest." Christy picked up the food tray and almost tripped on her way out the door. Her whole body was still shaken by the encounter with Neil. She heard him chuckle but didn't look back. After she was gone, Neil's amusement turned sour as he was certain Christy was off to David's arms again.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Later in the evening, Christy worked up the courage to go back and check on Neil. Quietly opening the door, she made sure he was sleeping before entering. He was, so she tiptoed to his bed. His face held such wonder for her. He was so handsome, yet a troubled look permeated even in his sleep. If only she could make it all go away for him she would. She softly brushed those few wayward curls away from his face, and then gently placed a tender kiss on his forehead. Pulling up a chair, Christy sat down, bowed her head and began to pray.  
  
"Dear Lord... thank You so much for bringing Neil back to me. I know You have special plans for him, and I just pray that he'll realize his need for You soon.....and God, I also pray for Margaret. She's so sick and she needs You, too. Please keep her safe....wherever she is. And Lord.... I just praise You for mending my relationship with David. Only You could work such a miracle. Again.... I don't know why You bother with me, but I'm so glad that You do. Amen."  
  
Her eyes too heavy to open, Christy laid her head on the pillow next to Neil's and fell fast asleep.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Part 10--  
  
The first rays of sunshine burst through the windows rousing Neil from his slumber. Slowly his eyes opened and he heard the sound of faint breathing in his ear. He turned his head to the side only to be met by Christy's sleeping face on his pillow. What a beautiful sight to wake up to, he thought. Knowing that she had given up countless hours of her time to care for him filled Neil's heart with an overwhelming joy. He carefully observed her soft, smooth skin.........that beautiful hair cascading across her cheeks...and her lips, so full and enticing. Oh, how he longed to press his lips to hers! With his free hand, he reached over to push the stray hairs away from her peaceful face. As he did, her nose twitched and her eyes popped open.  
  
Neil chuckled and playfully asked, "Did that tickle?"  
  
Realizing where she was, she quickly sat up and began straightening her hair. "Is it morning already?," she questioned as she stood and patted out the wrinkles in her skirt. "I must've fallen asleep when I came in to check on you last night."  
  
"Well, waking up to see such a pretty sight was a pleasant experience for me, Miss Huddleston." At first a blush came to her face, but then quickly departed.  
  
"You never cease to amaze me, Doctor. A week ago you were hurling insults at me and now...... if I didn't know better, I'd think you were flirting with me." She watched his expression for a response, but before he could say anything else, David walked in.  
  
"Good morning, Christy." He offered his best smile, then glanced at Neil. "Good morning, Doctor. How does it feel to be the patient for a change?"  
  
"Quite well considering all I've been through. In fact my nurse here has been seeing to all of my needs." His mischievous grin sent her heart whirling.  
  
"I think I'd better go check on breakfast." Christy hurriedly left the two men to their own devices. An awkward silence filled the room for several moments before David began to speak.  
  
"Dr. MacNeill, I'd like to have a word with you, if I may."  
  
"Certainly, Reverend---although I'm not sure we have much to say to one another."  
  
"Oh, I think we do...or at least I do." Neil looked puzzled by David's words. Was he going to boast about winning Christy's hand? Neil's curiosity got the better of him.  
  
"Go on."  
  
"First off, I'd like to apologize for letting this animosity between us continue for so long. As a Christian and a minister, I have failed to portray to you the right kind of testimony. God has brought it to my attention that this was something I needed to make right."  
  
"It's all right, Grantland. I understand. You are as human as the next man."  
  
"Yes, but that is no excuse for my behavior, Doctor." Neil was startled be the young preacher's humble honesty. It wasn't what he had expected to hear.  
  
"Is that all you have to say?" Neil was wondering where this conversation would end.  
  
"No, it's not." This was probably what Neil had been waiting for. "I'm sure you're aware that I care a great deal about Christy. I even asked her to marry me."  
  
"Yes, I know that," Neil growled.  
  
"Well, I know that you care about her too. But that worries me, Dr. MacNeill. You are still a married man in the eyes of God and the law. I fear that any involvement Christy has with you might come to hinder her work here."  
  
Neil's defenses were beginning to perk. "I'm afraid I don't quite understand the point you're making, Reverend. I've been a married man since before Christy ever came to the cove."  
  
"What I'm trying to say is that for Christy's own good, you should stay away from her as much as possible. That is if you really care about her. You must see my point, Doctor."  
  
The look on David's face was not one of arrogance, but of genuine concern for Christy. Neil looked down at his bed, lost in deep thought. Even though he hated to admit it, the preacher was right. He recalled how Bessie Coburn's lie had caused such a stir in the cove and almost sent Christy away. Neil would never be able to live with himself if he were to cause Christy to lose her respect. Looking up at David, he shook his head. Knowing Neil accepted his argument, David turned and walked out.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
The next week saw a quick recovery in Neil. His arm was not fully healed, but he could get up and do most things for himself. As soon as he could, he vowed to move back home. No longer could he bear to see Christy around David. They always seemed to be smiling and talking with one another. The reality that the two would soon be marrying was more than he could take.  
  
Christy could tell that Neil was distancing himself from her, although she couldn't figure out why. In a matter of days, he had turned into a brooding, sullen man, and she realized that she didn't enjoy his company when he acted this way. But memories of special times still crossed her mind quite frequently.  
  
Finally, the day came when Neil would go back to his cabin. He was gathering his few things together when he heard a light knock on the door. "Come in," he said continuing to work. Christy entered timidly. Neil glanced at her then went back to his business.  
  
"So, you're leaving today," she began.  
  
"Aye. I've had enough of this place to last for quite a while. I'm ready to go back home, Miss Huddleston." Christy tried not to take his words to heart, but it was a struggle.  
  
"We all did the best we could, Doctor. I'm sorry if it didn't meet your standards." She could hear the anger entering her voice. Why did she let this man repeatedly get under her skin? So many of their meetings had ended with one of them storming off angrily. 'Well, here we go again, Lord,' she said to herself.  
  
"I didn't mean it that way, Christy." Neil's tone softened as he stopped what he was doing and walked closer to her. "You did an exceptional job and I'm grateful. Now smooth down those ruffled feathers. I don't want to argue."  
  
"I don't either," she conceded. Deep within, she would be sad to see him leave. She had gotten used to taking care of him---used to seeing him everyday. "You're still not all the way better. You're welcome to stay here longer, if you'd like." Christy tried to conceal her desire to have him stay. A look of confusion appeared on his face. Why was she seemingly pleading for him to stay when she was engaged to another man, he wondered. Yes, the preacher had been right.  
  
"I don't think it would be proper for you to continue to wait on me, Christy. I'm sure your fiancé does not quite approve of all the attention I've been getting from you."  
  
"Fiancé?" she questioned. Then it dawned on her. "You mean David."  
  
"Who else?" Neil asked. "I've seen how happy you two seem to be around here. Yes, Miss Huddleston, with me gone you'll be able to get on with your life, and I'll be able to get on with mine."  
  
Christy couldn't believe what she was hearing! Neil actually thought she was engaged to David, and when she thought about it, she had never had the chance to tell him otherwise. He seemed almost... jealous! Her heart smiled at the very thought...but again, he was married. That truth was the damper, which time and time again extinguished any spark of emotion within her.  
  
"I'm not getting married," she stated flatly. Neil looked at her in bewilderment. What had he just heard?  
  
"But I've seen you two walking around here all smiles and quiet talks."  
  
"Not that it's any of your business, Doctor, but Reverend Grantland and I are just good friends and co-workers. We talk about our ideas for the mission, problems of the children...Wait a minute! I don't have to explain anything to you!!"  
  
Christy turned and left the room in a huff. Neil could hear her in the hallway as she said to herself, "Why do I even bother?!" He had to laugh, partly because she was an amusing sight when she got fired up-- but also because he was truly happy for the first time in over a month. Christy wasn't marrying David Grantland!  
  
Then a sobering thought came to his mind.  
  
What did it matter if Christy wasn't marrying David? He himself was still married to Margaret, wherever she may be. Again, heaviness descended upon his heart and that brief moment of bliss was gone. 


	4. Part Four

~*~ Hold on to Joy: A Christy fic ~*~  
  
Part 11--  
  
Neil heard the approaching footsteps as he continued working outside in his 'medical' garden.  
  
"You know, I never cease to be amazed at how God works in my life," Dan Scott commented as he moved to stand beside the doctor. He cast a quick glance at Neil, waiting for a reaction, but Neil kept right on working.  
  
Dan continued.  
  
"I mean, just being able to come to Cutter Gap was due to God's hand. Then when I got here, I wasn't sure if I'd be stayin' very long-- but He worked that out too."  
  
"No, I believe Christy Huddleston is the one to thank for that. She convinced me to take you on." The doctor's snappy response assured Dan that he had been right about what had been on Neil's mind.  
  
"Now, I know Miss Huddleston would disagree with you on that one. Sure, she tried to talk to ya, but, as I recall, you didn't listen. Nope, it wasn't until that scarlet fever epidemic came that you accepted me. And you can't give Christy the credit for that." Dan tried to sound light and not too serious just yet.  
  
"Yes, I can see God working in everyone's life if I really take a good look. Why, even your life, Dr. MacNeill, is being guided by the Almighty."  
  
At this, Neil opened his mouth to contradict, but Dan didn't give him the chance.  
  
"Now, I know you believe that God doesn't bother with you, but I just don't agree. Think about it... those doctors who came here to hunt when you were younger, the ones who later paid for your schooling... surely you can't believe that were just a coincidence, Doctor. Then you came back here to Cutter Gap where you've done a lot with very little. Then you married Margaret---"  
  
Neil could no longer hold his tongue.  
  
"And how does that mistake show God working in my life, pray tell?"  
  
Dan knew he had to pick his words carefully if he wanted to reach the doctor.  
  
"Hear me out, now. You bring Margaret here, and who follows?--- Miss Alice. And then Miss Alice brings Miss Huddleston." The look on Neil's face was one of embarrassment and a tinge of sorrow.  
  
"Doctor, I know, even in my short time here, that she has had a great impact on your life and many others. Do you honestly think it has all happened simply by chance?" Dan searched Neil's confused face. "God is working in your life, Doctor, because he cares about you. And even if you can't see it right now, He's working it all out according to his master plan. All you have to do is believe and receive Him, then you would know what I know and have a peace in your heart where now there is turmoil."  
  
Neil remained silent, drinking in Dan's words. Dan prayed that Neil would not be able to rest until he made his peace with God. Knowing he had said enough to start the doctor thinking, Dan quietly slipped away back into the woods.  
  
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Throughout the rest of the day, Neil could not stop thinking about what Dan had said. Despite his usual scientific outlook, Dan's words had made sense to Neil. When he stopped to analyze the major events of his life, he couldn't quite convince himself they were all due to pure chance. He didn't really even want to believe that his life was shaped by random luck.  
  
That night, Neil tossed and turned as sleep evaded him. He kept hearing Dan's words over and over in his mind.  
  
"....God cares about you...He's workin' it all out.... all you have to do is receive Him and have peace....."  
  
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The inhabitants of the mission were up early as usual. For the first time in several days, the sun was peeking out from behind the clouds and filling each person with a fresh batch of energy. Ruby Mae had prepared breakfast, and to everyone's relief, no possum was involved. Thankfully, however, the longer she stayed at the mission, the better her cooking became.  
  
Sitting around the table, the four began to discuss their plans for the day. Christy went first.  
  
"Well, I've decided to go visit Opal. It's been a while since I've seen her or baby Iris, and babies always lift my spirits." Christy fondly recalled how she had cared for the abandoned baby before giving it to the McHone's to adopt.  
  
"What about you, David? How are you going to use this fine day God has given us?" Miss Alice inquired.  
  
"There are a few leaks on the mission roof that need mending. After that is finished, I'm not too sure what I'll find to occupy my time."  
  
"I reckon I'll be startin' on dinner early today. I got me this idea for a new way to fix possum. I just know you all will love it!" Ruby Mae's face was beaming with excitement. The girl failed to notice the looks of desperation on the faces of her companions.  
  
Just then, the telephone rang causing all four to jolt in their seats. Ruby Mae, always full of extra energy and desire for gossip, jumped up to answer the call. "I'll get it!" David shot Christy and Alice a glance of relief at not having to endure anymore gory details about dinner.  
  
"Cutter Gap Mission, Ruby Mae Morrison speakin'... Yeah, she's here." Ruby Mae put her hand over the receiver and turned to the table. "Miss Alice, it's for you." The look of excitement on the redhead's face had quickly turned to one of solemn concern. Alice walked to the phone and picked up the receiver. Her heart always seemed to stop when the phone was for her. Thoughts of Margaret flooded her mind as she began to speak.  
  
"This is Alice Henderson." Christy's heart went out to her mentor. She knew that Alice had been waiting to hear bad news about her daughter any day. Miss Alice listened intently to the voice on the other end for several minutes. The tears welling in her eyes answered Christy's unspoken question---- it was about Margaret.  
  
Finally, Miss Alice said goodbye and hung up the phone. She stood silently with all eyes on her.  
  
"That was a Dr. Franklin from the Atlanta Health Clinic. It's Margaret." With those last words, Christy ran to put her arms around her friend just as the older woman began to weep. Several minutes passed where the only sounds heard were Alice's sobs of grief. After Alice felt she could cry no more she began to explain more to the young people around her.  
  
"A nurse from the clinic will be accompanying Margaret's.... body here to Cutter Gap in a couple of days. Margaret had been at the clinic for some time, but would never disclose the whereabouts of her family- until last night.... soon before she.... passed. The nurse will give me more details."  
  
No one knew quite what to say. David came over and placed a strong hand on Alice's shoulder. Christy embraced the woman fiercely as she began to cry new tears.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Miss Alice, so sorry." Christy's heart ached for her friend and for Neil. How would he take the news? As if reading her thoughts, David spoke up.  
  
"Alice, what about Dr. MacNeill? Don't you think someone should tell him?"  
  
"Yes, David. He needs to know," Alice replied, wiping her eyes.  
  
"I'll go, Miss Alice," Christy immediately volunteered.  
  
"No, Miss Huddleston." Miss Alice's blunt refusal was unexpected, and Christy felt wounded. "I just think it would be best if I am the one to tell Neil. Thank you, though, for thy offer. David, would thee saddle up my horse? The sooner I do this, the better."  
  
"Sure, Miss Alice. It'll only take a few minutes. Are you sure you want to ride alone?"  
  
"Alone, Reverend? I'll not be alone. God is with me, even now." Miss Alice was a marvel even under such stress, Christy thought. Now, she could have closure concerning the relationship with her daughter. But what about Neil? Christy longed to be there when he found out about his wife's death. She wanted to be the one to console him, but Miss Alice had already spoken, and Christy would not go against that decision.  
  
Part: 12  
  
The ride to Neil's cabin seemed extremely long to Alice. It did give her plenty of time to think of what to say to him, but as the cabin came into view, those words fled like a thief in the night. Neil was fishing by his stream, trying to relax despite his restless night. He heard the neigh of an approaching horse and turned to see Alice dismounting by the porch. She began walking towards him, a tell-all look on her face. Without her saying a word, Neil knew why Alice was here.  
  
"It's Margaret, isn't it?" It was more a statement than a question. Unable to speak, Alice simply nodded her head in affirmation. Neil returned to his fishing as Alice moved to his side.  
  
"I knew it would happen sooner or later. She was already so sick when she left here. Where is she now?"  
  
What a loaded question, Alice thought to herself, but knew Neil was only referring to Margaret's body.  
  
"Atlanta. A nurse will be bringing her body here by train. They should be here day after tomorrow." Silence descended between the two for several minutes. The babbling of the river was all that could be heard. Finally , Neil stopped, put his pole down and wrapped his arms around his mother-in- law. It was a first, but neither felt awkward.  
  
"I'm sorry, Alice," Neil whispered. Then once again she began to weep.  
  
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Christy waited eagerly for Alice's return, hoping to hear of Neil. Eventually, Alice rode up to the mission, her eyes red and puffy from crying. Christy met her on the porch.  
  
"Are you all right, Miss Alice?" Christy asked sincerely. The concern on the young woman's face brought a small smile to Alice's face.  
  
"Thee needn't worry so about me, Christy. I am going to be just fine. I have you and David...and the Lord to lean on. No, it is Dr. MacNeill I am worried about. I believe he is in a sort of shock right now. We must pray for him to find peace, Miss Huddleston."  
  
Alice's words stayed with Christy on into the next days. She and David helped Alice prepare for Margaret's final return. David built a coffin and dug the grave, while Christy helped Alice pick out funeral garb for the deceased. Finally the time came for the body to arrive. David hitched up the wagon, and Neil met the others at the El Pano station. Christy noticed the emptiness on Neil's face as he stood watching the train pull to a stop. She wanted to go to him, but felt something telling her to wait.  
  
A woman approached the foursome and asked for Alice Henderson. "I am Alice Henderson."  
  
"Good. I'm glad I found you so quickly. My name is Anna Thomas, from the Atlanta Health Clinic." Christy guessed that Anna as in her early forties since a tinge of gray highlighted her light brown hair. She had some wrinkles on her kind, plain face.  
  
"I'm so sorry to have to meet under these circumstances...Which one of you is Dr. MacNeill?" she asked, looking at Neil and David.  
  
"I am," Neil answered lowly.  
  
"Mr. MacNeill, I am going to need to have you sign a few forms before we can claim your wife's body from the train. Please come with me." Neil and Anna walked off to the train office while the others remained on the platform. After several minutes, Neil and Anna returned, and soon they were all on their way back to Cutter Gap.  
  
Neil rode in front, alone on his horse. Christy, seated by David in the wagon, was puzzled over what appeared to be Neil's indifferent attitude. Miss Alice, with Anna Thomas, sat in the back next to the box, which contained Margaret's remains. Anna had been Margaret's nurse during her stay at the clinic. She told about Margaret's bitterness towards life, which she witnessed firsthand. Anna, being a Christian, had taken it upon herself to care for this lost sheep.  
  
She recalled the many conversations she had had with Margaret. Early in the stay, Margaret had blamed everyone else for her life's state. She would not even reveal her whereabouts to her family, no matter what, just for spite. However, as her condition worsened to the point of not return, Margaret had softened and started to regret choices in her life. She finally shared the location of her relatives with Nurse Thomas on the eve before her death.  
  
"She knew her time was near. It was then that she regretted not having any loved ones around. I witnessed to Margaret every chance I got, Miss Henderson. She told me I reminded her of her mother. She never did want to listen to what I had to say... until that night... Your soul can rest at ease, ma'am, because your daughter is with the Lord."  
  
These words hit Alice with such force that she nearly jumped off the wagon! Quickly, she regained her composure with a huge smile spreading across her face. "Hallelujah!" she exclaimed.  
  
"Praise God," said David who had heard the whole conversation and was now rejoicing with Christy. Then Christy's eyes drifted to Neil, that lone figure up ahead. Would he ever find peace? She offered up a silent prayer for his salvation, not knowing how close it was.  
  
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	5. Part Five

~*~ Hold on to Joy: A Christy fic ~*~  
  
Margaret's funeral was the next day. Not many people from the cove attended, besides Christy, David, Ruby Mae, Dan, and the Spencers. Ruby Mae had informed Christy earlier that not many people cared for Margaret MacNeill. According to the girl, Margaret had kept to herself, not wanting to even come in contact with any of her neighbors.  
  
"She never offered not help to no one...never did anything nice. She was nothin' like you, Miss Christy." The words had played over and over in Christy's mind since hearing them. No wonder Margaret had been miserable in Cutter Gap. She never even gave it or the people a chance.  
  
The funeral was a short one by cove standards. David led the small service, Aunt Hattie sang "Amazing Grace," Miss Alice wept, and Neil--- he did nothing but stare off into the distance. Christy's heart ached for him. Miss Alice had friends and the Lord to comfort her... Neil had no one.  
  
After the service, Neil came to David to offer his thanks for the kind words of hope, then he slipped away without another word as Christy watched from the graveside.  
  
"It breaks a person's heart to see that man all alone." Fairlight had moved next to Christy, her words meant only for the young woman's ears. "He's done so much for others, just don't seem right he should have to go through this with nobody.'  
  
Christy shot a look at Fairlight of slight amazement. How did Fairlight always seem to know when Christy was thinking of Neil?  
  
Smiling a knowing smile, Fairlight left Christy to ponder her words. The mountain woman might not have been formally educated, but she knew a bit about the needs of people----and right now Neil MacNeill needed Christy Huddleston like never before.  
  
Part 13--  
  
Another two weeks had passed since Margaret's funeral, and Neil had kept himself in seclusion at his cabin. Dan Scott stopped by briefly everyday, but Neil had ceased giving any new lessons. Fairlight checked in, too, making sure Neil was eating at least one meal a day.  
  
One morning, Dan visited the mission. As he was leaving, Christy took the opportunity to inquire about Dr. MacNeill. He had been on her mind constantly, but she wanted to give him time to mourn. Plus, something had been holding her back from going to see him.  
  
"Well, Christy, the doctor's not doin' too good. He hasn't been eatin' much or doin' much of anything else except sittin' around blamin' himself for bein' such a lousy doctor." Inside Dan's head an idea materialized. "I think what he needs is someone to give him a swift kick in the--- well, you know what I'm trying to say.... Maybe the reverend could go visit him." Dan knew that would do the trick. Christy looked at Dan, stunned that he would even suggest such a thing.  
  
She thanked Dan for the information as he rode away and then promptly took off for Neil's cabin, determined to snap Neil out of his self-pity.  
  
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As she neared the cabin, she paused to offer up a quick prayer for guidance and strength.  
  
"Dear God... I know that Neil needs a friend right now and some comforting words, so please help me to say and do the things that he needs........ and please Lord, please don't let me mess this up. Amen."  
  
Taking a deep breath, Christy climbed the steps to the porch and knocked on the door.  
  
"Dr. MacNeill? Are you home? It's Christy." She could hear some movement on the other side, but it took a few seconds before the sound reached the door. Slowly, the door opened. Christy barely even recognized the face on the other side. It was overgrown from being unshaven for Christy didn't know how long. The tousled red hair looked like the coif of a wild man, and the eyes looked forlorn and void of hope. This was not at all the Neil MacNeill she respected and loved.  
  
Neil noticed the look of shock on Christy's face and became suddenly conscious of his unkempt appearance.  
  
"Hello," Christy finally said. "Do you happen to know if a Dr. MacNeill still lives here?" Her quick humor and kind smile put Neil at ease, and he stood back to let her in. Once he grinned, she knew it was okay to enter. She promptly decided that she would not offer him her pity. No, it was clear to her that he had enough of his own for the both of them. Christy determined not to leave until she was certain he was back to his old self.  
  
As she looked around the messy cabin, she couldn't resist. "Well, by the looks of this place, I can see your maid has had some time off."  
  
Neil nervously started to put things away. He hated for her to see him like this. "I...I haven't had much company of late, and I haven't really felt like doing much," Neil offered.  
  
"So I've heard." Christy walked over to Neil and looked him right in the eyes. "How long are you going to go on like this, Neil?" Her serious question put Neil on the defensive.  
  
"Look," he started with a bit of fire in his eyes, "I didn't ask for you to come here. I'd be fine if everyone would just leave me alone." His harsh words struck Christy like a smack to her face, but she knew it was just his hurt talking. She didn't back down.  
  
"What?! So you can wallow in your self-pity and pretend that you're God--- the one to blame for everything--- for Margaret's death?" Now he was the one in shock.  
  
"You're not all-powerful, Neil. Margaret's death happened in God's time and by His will, not yours. He is in control of everything--- including your life. When are you going to realize that?"  
  
Neil did not respond, but only looked away from Christy. She was afraid she would do more harm than good by staying, judging by his reaction.  
  
"Maybe I should just go," she said flatly. Neil turned back to her, wanting to beg her to stay, but his stubborn pride wouldn't allow it. Seeing that her job here was done, Christy turned and walked out of the cabin. "Goodbye, Neil," she offered as she climbed back on Prince and rode away.  
  
Neil watched her leave from his doorway. Part of him was still fuming at her accusations. "Hrmph!" he grunted. "I know I'm not God, Christy Huddleston, and I don't need you to tell me so." The anger gradually dissipated as he realized that she had come to reach out to him, to comfort him. He wanted to believe that he didn't need any comforting, but deep down he knew the truth.  
  
As he thought about the attempted kindness of Christy and the events of the past few weeks, a lump formed in Neil's throat. He tried to swallow it down, but it wouldn't leave. As he fought with his own emotions, he went back inside and sat down at his table. Then, unable to hold it in anymore, Neil MacNeill burst into tears, and, like a flood, came all of the feelings he had been keeping locked in for many years.  
  
He cried for Margaret's death, for his failure as a doctor, for his secret hopeless love for Christy, but mostly he cried because he suddenly realized how worthless he was in the whole scheme of things. No, he wasn't God, even though he had tried to shoulder that responsibility one too many times when dealing with a patient. It wasn't Neil MacNeill in control of the healing. He was simply the tool of a higher power.  
  
He had fought it for so long, determined in his heart that, if a God did exist, then He had nothing to do with Neil. But over the past year or so, he had experienced so many miraculous things that he could no longer dispute the existence of God. Now, here he was.... finally admitting that he, Neil MacNeill, was not in control... that he was indeed helpless and alone and in need of the Lord.  
  
Like gentle fingers probing in the back of his mind, came a thought. He stood up pushing the chair back out of his way and headed straight for his room. Once inside he pulled out an old chest from underneath his bed. It was dusty from not being used in many years, and as Neil wiped it off he remembered the original owner... his mother.  
  
With a tear and a smile, he carefully opened the box and pulled out its greatest treasure..... a Bible. Neil held it closely to his heart as he recalled memories of his mother sitting and reading it to him aloud when he was but a boy. He hoped he could remember that verse. He just had to.  
  
Neil leafed frantically through the Bible looking for the special verse, the one that he knew would be the answer for him. Finally, a wave of relief and joy washed over him as his eyes came to rest on the sacred words.  
  
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son..."  
  
Neil finished the verse as he sat there on his bedroom floor, and its truth pierced straight to his heart. He closed the Bible as another tear came to his eye. Then he bowed his head and, for the first time in his life, prayed to the almighty God in heaven. Neil MacNeill was now at peace with his God and himself.  
  
Part: 14  
  
Neil awoke the next morning bright and early, refreshed after sleeping the sleep of the forgiven. Breathing in the new day, he knew exactly what he wanted to do. Since surrendering his heart to God, Neil could hardly wait to share the news with Christy. She had been instrumental in showing true Christianity to him. Too many times he had witnessed so-called Christians caught in blatant hypocrisy, but Christy was honest and willing to admit her own imperfections while remaining true to her faith. That was one of the many things he admired about her.  
  
Knowing she wouldn't be finished with school until later, he found it hard to be patient, so he busied himself with straightening up his cabin. He lost track of time once he started cleaning because of all the built-up clutter. When he finally glanced at a clock, he realized that the school day would soon be over.  
  
Neil cleaned himself up from head to toe, all the while humming a catchy mountain love song. He hadn't even realized what he was humming at first, and when he did, he could feel a blush heat up his face. He wanted to be as clean on the outside as he felt on the inside. Donning his thick wool sweater and his best pair of pants, he completed the ensemble with a splash of cologne he'd had stashed away for years.  
  
"There!" he declared to his reflection in the mirror. "You're all set!"  
  
And, with a new spring in his step, Neil was off to the schoolhouse.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Alice Henderson was pumping water in front of the mission house as Neil rode up the path. She did a double take to make sure her eyes and ears were not deceiving her. Yes, she concluded---- Neil MacNeill was smiling, and yes, he was dressed to kill, and yes, he was, in fact, whistling.  
  
"Hello, Alice!" he called out as he approached. "Beautiful day, isn't it?" he stated as he gazed into the overcast autumn sky. Alice was speechless as she stared bewildered at this Neil impostor. Looking down at her with a huge grin, he asked, "Is Christy about?"  
  
Without a word, Alice pointed to the schoolhouse. Neil nodded his head in appreciation, clucked his horse to continue on, and resumed whistling without missing a beat.  
  
Alice stood astonished as she watched him ride on to the school. Not only was she surprised to see Neil out and about, but here he was acting so awfully strange. From what Christy had told her yesterday about the visit with Neil, Alice had imagined a somewhat different image than the one she was now seeing. Was Christy not telling her the whole story?  
  
"Was that Doc MacNeill?" came Ruby Mae's all too familiar voice. The girl had journeyed out into the yard, and was just as shocked as Miss Alice by Neil's appearance.  
  
Turning to Ruby Mae, Miss Alice could only say, "Yes."  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Christy sat at her desk grading the day's spelling test, trying not to think about her encounter with Neil from the day before. After that fiasco, she had decided that she was finished with Neil MacNeill. If he didn't want to accept her kindness, then so be it. She wasn't going to worry about him anymore. Her thoughts got the best of her, and she grunted in frustration. That man!  
  
"Hello, Christy," came the voice that jolted her out of her inner dilemma. She glanced back at the door to see the culprit of her frustration--- Neil MacNeill.  
  
"Doctor MacNeill," she acknowledged flatly. She didn't get up from her seat, so Neil walked on in. As he was coming up the aisle, Christy noticed that he looked much more human than the day before. His face was now smooth shaven, his hair combed-- though still a bit unruly, as usual. He was dressed nice and neat, and, as he neared her desk, she could swear she smelled cologne. When she had first seen him standing at the door, she had been ready to give him a piece of her mind. However, his appearance and demeanor had her curious.  
  
"Well, you sure seem to be in a better mood today," she said with a grin. He smiled back, and his whole face seemed to light up.  
  
"I guess you could say that," he replied. "I'm sorry about yesterday, Christy. I was just feeling sorry for myself." His sincerity took Christy by surprise. He always seemed to baffle her by his unpredictable behavior.  
  
"Apology accepted, Neil," she responded as she got up out of her chair. He kept looking at her with a silly grin, and she didn't know quite what to say.  
  
"Was that why you came here?" she asked, trying to figure out this man's mysterious mood.  
  
"Yes it is.... partly." Again he offered only a vague answer and Christy was desperate for more. Finally Neil decided that he could wait no longer.  
  
"Christy, would you take a ride with me? I have something I'd like to talk to you about--- away from here."  
  
Now her curiosity was ablaze. What could he have to say to her that needed to be done privately? She could never live with herself if she didn't find out what his secret was, so she agreed to go.  
  
"Wonderful!" Neil said warmly. After straightening up her desk for the next day, Christy put on her coat and followed Neil out the door and onto his mount. Sitting in front of him, she could smell the musky scent of his cologne and feel his warmth, even through her coat. Both were silent as they rode up into the mountains on a path Christy had never taken before.  
  
Neil's heart was pounding as he tried to hold in his joyful news until they reached their destination. The sweet smell of Christy's hair and the feel of her so close to him also added to the racing in his chest. Suddenly, he realized that there was no longer any reason why he couldn't care for Christy in a more intimate way. Margaret was gone, so his marriage was no longer a stumbling block, and now he was saved, taking away the hurdle of religious difference. He knew how he felt, but would Christy feel the same?  
  
She had turned down David's marriage proposal and had come to Neil's cabin on that fateful day of Margaret's return. Did that mean...? No, he shook that thought away. Right now all he wanted to do was share the change that had taken place deep in his soul with someone he knew truly cared about him.  
  
Christy could hear the water before she saw it. As they came around a small bend in the path, she took in her breath at the beautiful sight of the waterfall. She turned back to look at Neil, to tell him how breathtaking it all was, but he already knew what she was thinking.  
  
"I know. It's beautiful." He swung down off of his horse and reached up to help Christy down, firmly holding her waist even once her feet were resting on the ground. He kept smiling and looking into Christy's face, and she felt her face begin to heat up from his stare. What was he thinking?, she wondered.  
  
He abruptly let his hands drop, as if he had just realized where they had been. Then he turned and strolled over to the edge of the stream, picking up a small stone and skipping it across to the other side. Christy was still flabbergasted. What was this all about? Christy too walked over to the stream bank and drank in the wonder of her surroundings.  
  
"What is this place? I've never been here before."  
  
"This, Miss Huddleston, is Angel Falls," Neil informed her as he too surveyed the beauty of the place. "Many young mountain lovers find this spot to be quite... conducive to their purpose." He flashed her one of those roguish grins, knowing how she would react. He had to admit, he still liked riling her up a bit.  
  
Is this why he brought her here?--- to profess his love? Christy's heart began beating as fast as a scared rabbit's when he started walking towards her, but she couldn't move. Once he was right in front of her, he gently grabbed her hand and she could feel herself trembling. Would he notice?  
  
"Christy, there's something I have to tell you." Now he gazed long and hard into her eyes and she thought she might faint from the light headedness she was feeling. No matter how much she wanted to, no words would come out of her mouth.  
  
"Something happened to me yesterday after you left my cabin," he began. "I was so angry at your coming and hurling all of your accusations, but then I went back inside and started thinking--- really thinking.... And I realized that you were right. You've been right all along." He sounded like a child who had suddenly learned to read--- who had just realized that all those letters and sounds create magic on a page. She couldn't help but chuckle at his enthusiasm.  
  
"What is it, Neil?" she asked impatiently. She had to know.  
  
"Ever since you came here you've been challenging my lack of faith in God. I have to admit that I've been quite tough on you, but you've beaten me at every turn." Christy was on the verge of yelling at him to spit it out when he did.  
  
"Christy, I've given my heart to the Lord."  
  
It took a moment for the words to register in her brain. Neil was saved? A huge smile spread across her face, and she jumped forward to embrace him. He squeezed her back tightly, and they both laughed joyfully until she noticed she had thrown herself into the doctor's arms. Quickly, she pulled back, straightening her coat nervously as she did.  
  
"You're telling the truth, right?" she said skeptically. She knew the answer even as the words had escaped her mouth.  
  
"Have I ever lied to you, Christy?" he asked with a twinge of disappointment in his voice.  
  
"No, no you haven't," she replied smiling again. "Well, this is wonderful! Miss Alice will be so happy--- and Fairlight---- and even David, I'm sure." Suddenly she stopped as a thought entered her mind. "Have you already told them?"  
  
Neil took her hand again as their eyes met. "I wanted you to be the first to know."  
  
This man was a wonder to Christy. So many times he had made her blood boil, but he had also always made her feel special, like she really belonged here in these mountains. Looking into those blue eyes, she saw something she never remembered seeing before----- hope.  
  
"Thank you, Neil," she whispered. "Thank you."  
  
"No--- thank you, Miss Huddleston," he replied lowering his face to hers. "You're the only one who never gave up on me." Gently, he raised her hand to his lips and placed a tender kiss there. "You make me a better man, Christy."  
  
What did that mean exactly?, she wondered. Her head was definitely spinning now. Even though she knew her mother would faint if she knew what Christy was thinking right now, she couldn't help it. Her heart suddenly longed for him to say those three little words that she was aching to say, too. Letting her eyes study every inch of his face, she finally settled on his lips and willed them to reach out to hers.  
  
"Christy, I.... " Oh, here it comes! she thought. "I think I'd better get you back to the mission before dark. Alice will be wondering where you've gone." Christy's heart dropped to her feet. That wasn't what she was hoping to hear, but it was just as well.  
  
"You're right," she said as she pulled her hands from his grasp. Then they quietly mounted up and rode in silence back to the mission.  
  
As the big house came into view, Christy broke the quiet. "Would you mind if I shared your experience with anyone else, or would you rather do that yourself?"  
  
"No, go right ahead and tell anyone you want. I'll not be keeping it a secret, but I do need to get back home." Neil deposited Christy at the mission steps, offered her one last smile and a simple "good-bye," and then took off for his cabin. As she watched him leave, she wondered how someone could feel such joy and such disappointment all at the same time. A prayer was definitely in order.  
  
Part: 15  
  
Once inside the mission house, Christy wandered into the dining room where the others were just beginning to eat.  
  
"Well, Miss Huddleston," Miss Alice announced, "we were beginning to wonder where you had gotten off to."  
  
Christy sat down and offered a weak smile to her dinner companions. Ruby Mae grinned mischievously as she passed around her latest possum creation. "I know where Miss Christy was off to." Christy felt a blush heat up her cheeks, and she silently pleaded for the girl to be quiet.  
  
David stopped chewing as his eyes perked up with interest.  
  
"I seen her take off with the doc right after school, and they was headin' towards Angel Falls." The girl's face shone with glee at her revelation, while everyone else at the table shifted uneasily in their seats without making any eye contact.  
  
"Ruby Mae," Christy finally said, "if you must know, Doctor MacNeill had some very good news that he wanted to share with me...with us."  
  
"Has he accepted a job offer in the city?" David blurted out before he could stop himself. Even though his relationship with Christy had been mended, he still did not care for the thought of her with Neil MacNeill. All eyes now jerked to the young preacher, and his face turned bright red.  
  
"No!--- David... he hasn't," Christy replied with a touch of annoyance in her voice. "Neil--- Doctor MacNeill has found the Lord."  
  
Simultaneously, all mouths stopped chewing, and all eyes locked on the young teacher. "He was saved.... last night... in his cabin," Christy shared slowly, trying to get her message across to the others agape with astonishment. A few more awkward moments passed before the silence was finally broken.  
  
"Well, glory to God!" Miss Alice exclaimed joyfully placing her hands together in front of her. David, however, was not quite so jubilant.  
  
"That... that's wonderful," is all he could muster. Deep within the young preacher was a raging battle between the spiritual and the carnal David Grantlands. Inwardly, he scolded himself for struggling with the situation at all, but he somehow just couldn't lay aside all of his hard feelings for the doctor. A twinge of jealousy popped into his mind as he acknowledged all obstacles to a relationship between Christy and MacNeill were now gone.  
  
"Wow! Do ya reckon the doc'll be comin' to Sunday meetins now?" Ruby Mae asked excitedly. Christy shot David an uneasy glance.  
  
"I.. I don't know, Ruby Mae, but we should pray for him," the young teacher replied.  
  
Miss Alice was still smiling from ear to ear. "I have prayed for Neil MacNeill for years now, and it is truly amazing to see how God has brought the man to Him."  
  
David's insides were a swirling mass of emotions, and he thought it best to leave. Giving a rather lame excuse, he left for his bunkhouse. Ruby Mae left soon after to clean up the dishes, leaving Alice and Christy alone.  
  
Christy tried not to look directly at Miss Alice. She wasn't sure that Alice would understand or approve of her feelings toward Neil, being as the woman was once his mother-in-law. Many times before, Miss Alice had revealed a rather hostile attitude toward the whole notion of Neil and Christy. More recently she had seemed to soften a bit, but still...Christy wasn't sure how much to share.  
  
"It is wonderful news, Christy, to see another soul added to the kingdom. I thought something had changed about him when I saw him ride up today. He looked--- different." Alice waited for Christy to respond, but she only listened. Her thoughts were jumbled, and her mind had drifted back to a certain waterfall... and a certain mountain doctor. The elder woman noticed the younger's pensiveness and smiled.  
  
"Miss Huddleston?" No response. "Miss Huddleston?" Finally Christy realized she was being spoken to.  
  
"Oh! Miss Alice, I'm so sorry."  
  
"You were lost in deep contemplation just now. Anything you'd care to share?" Christy shook her head no, but Miss Alice knew there was more behind Christy's mood. "Does your silence have anything to do with our Dr. MacNeill?" Christy looked down at her lap and then back to her friend.  
  
"Yes," the young woman replied softly. "I suppose it does."  
  
Out of the corner of her eye, Alice Henderson could see Ruby Mae's freckled face peeking around the door, trying desperately to hear what was being said at the table. "Why don't we go outside, Miss Huddleston? The night air might do me some good." Ruby Mae saw the look Miss Alice shot her and darted back into the kitchen.  
  
Once outside, the two friends stood on the porch, illuminated by an almost full moon.  
  
"Now," Alice said as she placed a hand on Christy's shoulder. "Let me guess... you are---- confused by the sudden change in Neil. You're used to the safety his lost soul provided for you." At those blasphemous words, Christy opened her mouth to protest, but was stopped before any words could escape.  
  
"Now hear me out, Christy. I have known for some time about your feelings for Neil---- and his for you." His for me? Christy thought. "... probably even before either of you did," she said with a chuckle. "However, for both of you there have been certain 'fences' that have kept you apart, which in turn have kept both of your hearts from risking anything. Of course there was Margaret, but she is now......... gone."  
  
The older woman lowered her head as she mentioned her daughter. "But the largest obstacle for you has been the lack of Neil's salvation. Due to your strong faith, both of you have known that nothing would ever happen as long as that was an issue."  
  
Christy continued to stare at Alice, totally amazed at the woman's perceptiveness. "Apparently, the last obstacle has been broken down, and you don't know what to do next."  
  
Christy shook her head in disbelief. "Miss Alice, how did you---"  
  
"I am a woman too, Miss Huddleston," Alice said with a wink. "I have seen your love for Neil grow and grow---- from respect, to admiration, to what it is now."  
  
"Miss Alice, I didn't think you approved of a relationship between Neil and me," Christy questioned. Alice smiled kindly.  
  
"You should not be waiting for my approval, Christy. What matters is if God approves----- and I just so happen to think He does."  
  
The truth of those last words lifted Christy's heart. It was all up to God, wasn't it? She had trusted him this far in her life. Why should now be any different?  
  
"Thank you, Miss Alice!" Christy said as she hugged Alice heartily and then ran up to her room. After bathing herself in prayer, a peace settled over the young teacher and she slept soundly knowing in her heart that God had it all planned out.  
  
To be continued. 


	6. Chapter 6

Hold on to Joy—Part 6 7

David Grantland spent the night tossing and turning, unable to ease his restless spirit. He knew he should be happy that Neil MacNeill had accepted the Lord. As a pastor, one of his main goals was to see souls added to the Kingdom. However, the green-eyed monster kept rearing its ugly head as the idea of Christy and Neil as a romantic possibility churned in his head. God was not going to make this easy. Finally, he submitted to the Lord's gentle prodding and climbed out of bed and onto his knees.

"Okay, Lord," he declared. "I'm all ears." As he confessed his sins and asked for strength and wisdom, he found that his mind and soul were quieted. In the midst of this calm, he heard God's voice.

-----------*--------------*---------------*-----------------*----------------*

Since giving his heart to God, Neil found himself waking each day with a fresh hope for what life would bring. He had only been up for a short while when there came a knock at his door. Buttoning up his shirt, he hurried down from his loft to answer the call. When he swung the door open, he was quite surprised at the visitor.

"Reverend Grantland," he exclaimed. "Good morning!"

David nodded and took a deep breath. "Dr. MacNeill. May I come in?"

Still stunned, it took Neil a moment to react and step aside. "Of course. Can I get you a cup of coffee?"

"No, thank you," David replied before getting right to the point of his early morning visit. "I came because I wanted to talk to you, Doctor."

Neil's expression became even more confused. "Talk? What about?"

David paused as he glanced nervously around the room. "Mind if we sit?"

"Certainly."

Neil motioned to a pair of chairs and the two men sat down. The doctor was now extremely curious about what the preacher had to say. Goodness knew that in the past David Grantland had always been forthright and outspoken concerning Neil's actions and beliefs. Especially when it came to a certain blue-eyed teacher.

"First off, Neil, I want to congratulate you on your recent salvation. Christy shared the news with us last night. She was quite excited."

Neil could not help but smile at that bit of information. "Was she, now? Well, she did have quite a hand in leading me to that point. She never stopped trying to show me my need for the Lord." He was touched by Christy's interest in his soul's salvation.

"We were all happy to hear about it. We've been praying for you for quite some time," David revealed.

Neil looked at David questioningly. "Have you?"

The simple question pierced David's heart like a sword and he could bear his guilt no longer. "Dr. MacNeill, I must confess that I am still struggling to be a good Christian and an honorable pastor. I admit I haven't always been adamant about praying for your soul. I've too often let hard feelings—and jealousy seep into my heart concerning you and Christy." He had trouble getting the last few words out, but held up his hand to stop Neil from interrupting.

"No, let me finish. It was wrong of me to let my own desires come before your soul, Doctor. I know I have accused you in the past of dishonoring Christy, but in reality, you never did anything of the sort. Even though I knew you had feelings for her, you behaved respectfully and never compromised her."

Neil did not know what to say. Had he always been so transparent when it came to Christy Huddleston? He had not thought so before, but apparently he had been wrong.

David continued. "I'll not pretend that I'm not a bit disappointed in her refusal of my marriage proposal. I love her." David studied Neil's reaction before continuing. "But I know that you do, too."

"I—," Neil started, but again David stopped him.

"You don't have to deny it anymore, Doctor. There's nothing wrong with loving Christy. How could you not? And now, God has seen fit to clear the path for you and her. In His own way and His own time, he has brought you both together. Just promise me that you will cherish her like the precious gift she is. She deserves it. She deserves to be happy."

David stopped and Neil was not sure what to say for several moments.

Eventually, Neil cleared his throat and replied. "Thank you, David, for coming here and sharing these things. It takes a strong man to do what you have done. I appreciate your candor, but you've nothing to apologize for. " He chuckled in his deep, throaty way. "Lord knows I've not made things easy for you over the years." Now David chuckled, as well. "However, I've always respected you and what you try to do at the mission. You are sincerely working to help the people of Cutter Gap. My people.

"I also know that you care very much for Christy and I respect you for that. You're a better man than I, Reverend. I'm not sure what will happen between Christy and me. I have some ideas of my own, but whether or not she has the same ideas remains to be seen. But know this. If the Lord sees fit to bless me with Christy Huddleston, I'll treat her like the beautiful treasure she is and spend every day of my life trying to deserve her. You have my word."

The two men looked straight in each other's eyes and a bond was formed. They might never be bosom friends, but their love and respect for Christy bound them together all the same.

David stood and Neil followed suit reaching out his hand to shake the preacher's.

"Thank you for listening to me, Doctor. I needed this," David admitted.

"As did I, Reverend," Neil replied.

When they reached the door, David turned once more to face his former rival. "I hope to see you at Sunday service. It will cause quite a stir with the congregation."

"I'm looking forward to it," Neil said.

And with one more handshake, David left, his heart much lighter than when he arrived.

----------*----------------*------------------*------------------*------------------------

Christy had dreamed the sweetest dreams. So sweet she almost could not bear to think about them too much or everyone around her would know by the huge smile and starry-eyed look on her face what a lovesick girl she was. It was enough to remember they involved Neil and herself and Angel Falls.

She sighed deeply and finished getting ready for school with a dreamy look on her face.

Twice during morning classes, she caught herself daydreaming. Luckily, the children did not notice. At least she did not think they noticed. She really had to be more careful. After lunch she could not stop glancing at the door to the school, hoping foolishly that Neil would show up like he had the day before. "Silly girl!" she chided herself. He was a doctor. He had doctoring things to do. He could not come visit her every day. He didn't even have a reason to come to the mission every day. Did he?

Another sigh, only this one with a frown. Yesterday, she had been certain he was on the cusp of revealing his feelings for her, only he had shared the story of his salvation instead. Which, she hurriedly interjected into her thoughts, was much more important. But now--- what would happen next? Would there even be a next for them?

"Teacher?---Teacher!"

Christy snapped her head around to find Creed Allen yanking on her arm. "Oh, Creed, I'm sorry!" she said. "What is it?"

"I was just wonderin' if you could check my arithmetic answers so I know if'n I'm doin' it right."

She smiled as she took the slate from his hand. "Of course. I'd love to."

The rest of the afternoon she forced herself to stay focused on her students. "A watched pot never boils" she remembered her mother saying, so staring at the door wouldn't make Neil MacNeill magically appear no matter how much she wanted it to happen. Once the children left, she dawdled for a while, grading papers and preparing the next day's lessons—but still no Neill. Finally, she packed up her bag and started her walk over to the mission house slumped in disappointment.

Ruby Mae was the first to greet her as Christy walked in the door. "Gee, Miss Christy. You look a mite put out."

Alice turned from her seat at the kitchen table to have a look for herself. Christy did indeed look discouraged. "Is something the matter, Miss Huddleston?"

Christy forced a smile and set her bag on the table. "No, I'm fine," she responded lamely.

"Well, you sure have been acting funny all day, Miss Christy," Ruby Mae countered. "Miss Alice, she started out this morning with a big ol' smile on her face. But by this afternoon, she just looked all aggravated and sad. Don't know what coulda made that happen. Wait!—was it Creed Allen and Sam Houston? Those two could make a saint be a sinner, I declare!"

"Ruby Mae!" Alice exclaimed. "I'm sure Miss Huddleston is just tired. Run along now and do your chores before dinner." The girl smiled sheepishly and left. Alice returned her attention to Christy. "Art thou fine, Christy?"

"I'm fine, Miss Alice. Truly. Just tired like you said."

A knock sounded from the side door. "Anyone home?"

Christy jumped up at the sound of a Scottish brogue and quickly ran a hand over her hair and skirt. Alice did not fail to miss how the light came immediately back to Christy's eyes. Interesting, the older woman noted.

"In here," Christy answered. In a moment, Neil was in the room with a small bag in his hand. The smile on Christy's face could not have been brighter, and, Alice thought, Neil looked very much like a shy school boy with a crush. She chuckled under her breath.

"Neil," Christy greeted him smiling.

"Hello, Christy," he replied softly. "Alice," he added without even looking her way.

"Neil," Alice returned with a knowing grin.

After a few awkward seconds of silence, Alice asked, "So what brings you here today, Doctor?" That seemed to do the trick for both of the other inhabitants of the room finally realized Alice Henderson was present.

"Oh!" Neil realized where he was and held out the small bag. "I thought you might be out of camphor, so I brought you some more just in case."

Ruby Mae had just reentered the room. "Oh, we don't need no more camphor. Our jar's already plumb full to overflowin' and—"

"Ruby Mae," Miss Alice interrupted again. "Please just take the bag and put it away. In fact," she said as she stood from the table, "I'll help you find another container." She hurried around the table and shooed the girl out of the room calling, "Thank you, Neil," over her shoulder.

Suddenly, Christy and Neil were alone and neither knew what to say. Christy was thinking about her dreams from the night before, while Neil was replaying his conversation with David Grantland—in particular, the part about making Christy happy.

"Would you like to sit down?" Christy finally asked. "I could get you something to drink."

"No, thank you. I don't really have much time," Neil replied. "I'm on my way to San Martin to make my rounds. I probably won't be back until late Saturday."

"Oh," Christy muttered dejectedly.

"I was wondering, though, if you might accompany me on a picnic Sunday, after services," he asked.

Christy's face lit up. "A picnic?" He nodded. "That sounds—fine," she said, trying desperately not to sound as anxious and eager as she really was.

"Fine?" he repeated, a bit disappointed in her lack of apparent enthusiasm. She nodded. "All right then," he added. "Until Sunday."

"Sunday," she repeated. Then he turned and left.

As he hopped on his horse preparing to ride off, Alice stopped him. Apparently, she had been waiting for him on the porch.

"Neil!" she called as she approached. He pulled the reins and paused to listen.

"Woo her," she said simply.

"What?" he replied in confusion.

"I said, woo her. Court her. This is your chance to start over and live the life God wants for you. So do it right." Then Alice turned and walked away. "Have a safe trip."

With one last look at the mission that housed Christy Huddleston, Neil turned and rode off with thoughts of courting on his mind.


End file.
